intoxication and misery, illusion and happiness

Nähe des Geliebten

2010-04-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

Ich denke dein,
wenn mir der Sonne schimmer
Vom Meere strahlt;
Ich denke dein,
wenn sich des Mondes Flimmer
In Quellen malt.

Ich sehe dich,
wenn auf dem fernen Wege
Der Staub sich hebt,
In tiefer Nacht,
wenn auf dem schmalen Stege
Der Wandrer bebt.

Ich höre dich,
wenn dort mit dumpfem Rauschen
Die Welle steigt.
Im stillen Haine geh' ich oft zu lauschen,
Wenn alles schweigt.

Ich bin bei dir,
du seist auch noch so ferne,
Du bist mir nah!
Die Sonne sinkt,
bald leuchten mir die Sterne.
O wärst du da!

J.W. von Goethe

Goethe is truly special. For a translation, go here.

God Exists

2010-04-03T22:34:00.001-07:00

Anyone who doubts the existence of God has not met my dog. Look into Zipper's eyes, and you will know that he is God's gift to the world. He is the consummate companion and loyal friend. I loves him.

Also, look at Eddy G. How can such perfection exist in the world without divine influence? No, he is not perfect. He's just perfect for me...

Back To Good

2010-02-22T23:09:00.000-08:00

Nearly 1.5 years ago I made the following comment on this photo posted to Facebook: "And the Eddy G cuteness belongs to me! Are we a freakin' cute couple or what? =)"

This weekend, Ed and I rescued our relationship and the Eddy G cuteness belongs to me once more! I am a lucky, lucky man. We are together again metaphorically, and soon we will be together physically as well!

Dress for success

2010-02-17T23:37:00.000-08:00

Packing always sucks. It's especially stressful when flying to CA to try to win your boyfriend back. Is there an outfit for that?

I feel excited, nervous, inadequate, confident, eager, apprehensive, restless, resigned...

Bring on the morning.

Maybe...

2010-02-16T21:54:00.000-08:00

Maybe I am scared now
Are you already too far gone?
Have you drifted far away
While I'm here holding on?

Maybe I am crazy now
Can we really bring back the past?
Will you forget the pain inside you,
Or is that too much to ask?

Maybe I am lonely now
Standing outside your door.
Can you look at me and know
The love we felt before?

Maybe I am hurting now
Never thought I'd see the day
You'd run to someone else's arms
And turn my love away.

Maybe I am screaming now
For your very soul to hear.
Search the depths of love, my love,
Can you take away this fear?

Maybe I am foolish now
For offering you my heart.
Can you accept my fervent love
After all this time apart?

Maybe I'm in trouble now
I'm still in love with you.
Loving you was always easy,
Now I don't know what to do.

Lats and Laundry

2010-02-14T10:51:00.001-08:00

For the first time in at least five years, I find myself single on Valentine's Day. Well, at least somewhat single? It's complicated, as expressed by the Facebook status option. At any rate, I find myself contemplating the meaning of this day and my reactions to it this year. I heard the sentiment (supposedly from Ashton Kutcher) that we should express our love for those close to us 364 days a year and reserve one day for expressing the vitriol and loathing toward those we hate. A noble notion says me!

I'm somewhat surprised that I don't really feel any longing or wistfulness on this day. I think it's because I know I am loved. I have a wonderful family and friends. I have the best dog ever to keep me company. Romantically, I still have feelings for a very special guy. I suppose it's better to have an outlet for love rather than have no object for affection, even if that love isn't requited or the situation less than ideal.

The crux of the situation is this is just another ordinary day. If you're lonely on Valentine's day, it's because you're lonely the day before and the day after as well. If you're in love on V-day, you should be expressing that love every other day too. After work I will go to the gym and do laundry and then try to go to bed on time for once just like any other day.

I'll close with a suggestion to read these well-written musings from the inimitable and ever-witty Mark Steyn. I especially like the Hayakawa quote "that, having found the dream-girl or dream-man, one's problems are just beginning."

Even the best fall down sometimes...

2010-01-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

As Mid-Mo's top jewelry salesman, I like to think I am rather adept with words. Lately, however, I've had some bigtime slips! Last night (at the end of a stressful, emotional day) I actually told a customer "Oh no, our prices are WAY high!" It's not true, of course, and I have no idea what I was actually trying to say... Sheesh. Today in an email I told my client "I have enjoyed working you guys during this entire process." Clearly a crucial "with" was missing from that statement! Wow.

Listen to your heart

2010-01-31T08:24:00.000-08:00

After only about six minutes of sleep, with the mental clarity that only comes to the exhausted, I realize my life can be reduced to 80s song lyrics:

There are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention,
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been,
when love was wilder than the wind.

Shattered

2010-01-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

Often on Saturday nights such as this one I'm wistful and long for the Shatterday nights of old. I always had fun there, but it became the club of choice for Ed and me back in the day. Dancing the night away to 80s tunes with my Eddy G was always the best way to spend a Saturday! Songs like The Promise or Just Like Heaven really take me to those times. Of course one of Ed's faves was Madonna's Holiday remixed.

I've really missed Ed lately. It's so hard because I didn't stop loving him at all. I just didn't think I could make the move work (for many reasons too detailed to go into here). Therefore I still want to be with him. The breakup was one caused by geographical distance, not anything else. He is dating again, which I assumed he would. Of course, I want so much for him to be happy, but it's still hard for me to hear about guys he is going out with. On the one hand I want to remain as close as possible, and I'm so happy he feels comfortable sharing these things with me. On the other, I get jealous and upset sometimes. I was particularly affected when he told me about "making a move" on a guy by playing with his hair. I used to love so much how Ed played with my hair and scratched my back. Of course, it's the little things like that I miss the most. I think I miss them from him specifically and not in general, too. He said he was going to make this guy dinner, and again pangs of jealousy swelled from within me. I feel like I have no right to react this way. After all it's me who didn't move out to be with him. But how am I supposed to feel about the guy I still love being affectionate with someone else?

Ed asks about my "love life." I have no ability or desire to date someone seriously right now. Way too soon still, and my heart wouldn't be in it. Casual dating seems pointless and uninteresting to me as well. How could I possibly replace someone as irreplaceable as Ed? I have met some new people as friends, and that is always an adventure. I truthfully told Ed a while ago that I felt a little liberated because I've always been in a relationship or desperately wanted to be in a relationship. I've also desperately needed to be needed. It has been kind of nice to take some time to be self-reflective and independent. It's nice not needing something or someone for a change.

The last few days though, I have been missing being in a relationship, and more specifically missing the relationship I had with Ed. Do I still love him? Of course. Am I still IN love with him? I am certain I am still in love with the him that I knew. We've lived apart for well over a year now, though. Have we changed? Would it still work? Who knows. Right now it's a moot point anyway. When we first broke up I was relieved just to have made a decision. The weight and worry of moving and all the stress of my indecision was temporarily released!! Whether I had made the right choice or not almost didn't matter. I had just finally acted! At times, I think I have absolutely made the right choice. Could I truly be happy without Missouri backroads to ride my motorcycle? When I went home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and just for kicks to show off the new car, I thought I had certainly done the right thing. I love and miss my family tons. Being around to watch my little niece grow up will be so fun and rewarding! Now, however, the creeping suspicions are back. How could I give up the love of my life? I so wish there was a way for us to be together. Sometimes I think this is all just a bad dream and somehow I will wake up next to him.

For now I will do my best to be strong and courageous in my outlook on life. But tonight I would give anything to be driving to Ed's house to pick him up for one more night at Shattered. We'd get drunk, and I'd get emotional as I danced with him while The Cure floated over us:

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Update: I'm glad I got to tell Ed this over the phone tonight. I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry, or vomit at this point, but I'm glad it's out there. Also, I have to thank my good friend Matt Williams for coming over last night and rescuing me from my emotional breakdown.

You're a Good Man Charlie Brown

2010-01-15T20:35:00.000-08:00

I just got home from Illinois, and I had to battle freezing mist and crazy fog to get here! I had an enjoyable time, albeit short, with my family. Little Maddie is getting bigger and more like a real person rather than a gurgling, eating, pooping bundle of pink flesh. She has more expression to her face and her eyes are focusing better. She is a doll!

As my dad said goodbye to me today, he gave me a big hug and said, "You are a good man." It was such a simple compliment, but it really made me feel special. To know that my dad thinks of me as a man, and a good one at that, makes me a happy Craiger.

In other much less deep news, I retired the Focus last week and got the Dodge Charger I've been eyeballing for quite some time!! Now I finally have the horses to support my driving habits!

A familiar sound...

2009-12-21T21:59:00.001-08:00

Tonight while driving I heard a mens chorus singing a Christmas carol on the radio. Somehow I knew without a doubt it was the mens choir from BYU. I don't know if it was the sound ideal, the production, the hall, the arrangement (possibly Mac Wilberg)... Turns out it WAS them, but the arrangement was Randall Thompson. Besides feeling proud of my listening skills, the music of Christmas combined with thoughts of my alma mater left me nostalgic and introspective. I am so grateful for my experiences at BYU, musical and otherwise. Sometimes I regret not taking advantage of the wonderful opportunities at my fingertips there. I am happy to be going home for Christmas this week. There were a few times in Utah when I didn't get to. I believe I am a stronger, wiser, and more emotionally solid person now than I was then. Is that maturity? Or just wisdom gained from experience? At times I felt so sure of who I was, but at others so lost in the world. Now I know more of who I am, but in this knowledge, I realize how much more there is to learn...

Now I am listening to Arvo Part to help reunite the pieces of my brain that have been scattered by this busy holiday season. I thank God for the glorious gift to humanity that is music!

Juggling

2009-12-12T23:38:00.000-08:00

The Christmas season has been busy and fruitful at work thus far. Today I was trying to convince one guy to buy a 2 carat diamond on the phone while getting pricing on a 1.5 carat diamond on my iPhone (because our lame-ass internet was down). Meanwhile, I had another guy waiting on me who had come back to buy a 2 carat diamond. Stressful, but fun nevertheless. PS, I love hyphenated ass words!

Summer/Fall of 2009

2009-11-29T20:30:00.000-08:00

Actually posting again has made me realize how much has happened these last months that I don't want to forget about. Therefore, this is a summary of the last months.

In June, I had the pleasure of visiting Eddy in California. We went to Golden Gate park where we sat by a pond feeding ducks and various other pond creatures (the poor turtles were slow)! It was a moment where I felt the happiest of my life. It was a moment I wanted to stay in forever. Alas, that trip was the last time I saw my Eddy. Different circumstances kept us from visiting each other the following months, and now we are broken up. While it is my fault for being unable/unwilling to move out there, it feels like I am almost an outsider watching some cosmic hand of fate wrench us apart... I miss him terribly. I am grateful that we still talk almost weekly. I care so deeply for him, so it is nice to hear about his life. It's always bittersweet, however, because there is a certain iciness to his tone that I know is there to hide his pain. I hate that I am the source of that pain. I can't imagine finding someone I could love as much as him, but I'm just taking things one day at a time.

I had the pleasure of attending my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary celebration in Texas. They are adorably old!! They are quite lucid and pretty healthy for being over 80 though! My aunts and uncles asked if one of them was the boss and that's how they stayed together so long. Grandpa said there was no boss, to which grandma exclaimed "I thought you said I was the boss!" Grandpa wryly retorted "No, I said you were bossy!" The room errupted in laughter. Another humorous moment came when the waitress was passing out food. She called out a BLT salad, and Grandpa raised his hand. Aunt Leanne, said no, he ordered a BLT sandwich. Grandpa insisted he ordered a BLT salad. This argument went back and forth in cartoon fashion with the salad being grabbed to and from. Finally the waitress meekly proffered "We don't have a BLT sandwich." I yelled "Dang people let Granda eat his dinner!!" Again there was an uproar of laughter.

I got to visit Shanna in MN in October. I really liked Minneapolis, and if it weren't for the COLD weather, I'd think it a great place to live. It was quite vibrant and alive with culture, intelligence, and had a nice aesthetic. It didn't seem snooty though. We saw One Republic and Rob Thomas in concert, which of course, rocked my face off! She is dating a boy, and they seem to be getting pretty serious. She really wants a family, so I'm happy for her, but I don't like any boys touching my baby sister!!

Of course, I finally purchased a motorcycle! I seriously don't know how I lived before!!!! It's like I'm a brand new person. I wish I had bucked up and found one earlier. It's fun, cathartic, social, outdoors, cool... I love it so much!

An addendum to the Thanksgiving post: My family is crazy weird! And I love it! Matt and Shanna do this pitched mouth percussion thing. They are quite adept at the William Tell Overture, and they even did a round (Row Your Boat). Someone suggested a major scale, to which Matt did quite deftly!! I laughed my ass off and suggested a minor scale. It was a bit more difficult, but he acquitted himself quite well. Naturally this was all at the dinner table...

Song of Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T17:59:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I've fallen off the blogging bandwagon so hard. I've certainly had enough thoughts and emotions lately to fill many blogs, but I've had no desire to post. Why not jump back into it with an exclamation of gratitude on this Day of Thanks.

I am thankful for my wonderful family who support, uplift, and entertain me. They are a crazy bunch of people with wonderful talents, thoughts, and perspectives. I'm glad to be a part of them. I'm so happy I got to finally meet the latest addition, little Maddy, who is a teeny tiny five-pound auburn-haired doll. It's an affirmation of the miracle of life to see her. Hard to believe an entire person can fit into five pounds! I fell asleep with her cuddled up on my chest this evening, and we enjoyed a blissful nap together.

I am grateful to know Eddy G, the most beautiful, talented, intelligent, dedicated, and interesting person I've ever met. To have called him mine is an honor and a privilege most can only dream about. Though we are currently separated, I am thankful that our relationship is as good as it can be considering the circumstances, and that he is still a part of my life.

I am so lucky to have an array of stellar friends! In my life, I have met and befriended a myriad assortment of people. These people have been there for me in times of need or of play. They lift my spirits, they help me party, they help me learn, they make music with me, they provide me comfort and company. I am truly blessed with amazing people in my life.

I am thankful for the companionship of the little dog, Zipper. His unconditional devotion is a joy beyond words. I thank God for this glorious world, but especially for the little dogs in it!

I am privileged to have a job at all in this economic climate, much less one that has been going very well for me financially. I have some interesting coworkers (good and bad interesting) who make me laugh and teach me new perspectives. I'm grateful my financial freedom has afforded me new ways to appreciate life, most notably of late my motorcycle! Hooray for motorcycles!

I am eternally grateful for the gift of music. I recently had the opportunity to sing Brahms' Requiem for the first time since learning it my freshman year of college when both my grandmother and grandfather died. 14 years later, the beauty and power of the music coupled with the comfort and joy in the text still move me beyond words.

Lastly I am thankful for nature's wonders such as Orion's starry gaze providing comfort on my long trip home.

Communing With Nature

2009-05-31T13:17:00.000-07:00

This week I saw a lost deer in downtown Columbia over my lunch break and rabbits chasing each other and doing acrobatic flips over each outside the gym on campus. Yesterday morning I rescued a turtle on the road on my way to work, and last night I saw my first firefly of the season. Today I shared my Chipotle chips with a little brown bird on the sidewalk. I think we often take for granted the abundance of life that surrounds us--even in towns.

Two things in life are certain...

2009-04-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in many months because I feel as though I've turned this blog into a political ranting space, and I'm trying to avoid that. Also, I've felt a strange sort of need for privacy regarding things I used to feel the need to shout from the rooftops. Lastly, I've been lazy and somewhat uninterested in my own ideas.

Today, however marks a momentous occasion, and I would be remiss if I did not take the time to record some thoughts. Besides being Easter, today is the fourth anniversary of the day that I first started dating my beautiful Eddy G. Honestly, I never thought we'd make it this long. Of course, I HOPED we would, and I WANTED our relationship to last. Furthermore, we have both WORKED to make it last. There were (and are) many things to prevent its longevity, but luckily for me, the things that solidify and perpetuate our relationship have outweighed and outlasted those that would tear it down. I can't imagine life without my Eddy in it. It seems strange to think about the time before I met him. It's as if that time couldn't possibly be real! Even though we have lived far apart for far too long now, I still feel his love, and it is a comfort and a joy!
What have I done to celebrate this anniversary today? My taxes!! (Resisting the mighty urge for political rant)!!!! Wagner served as the appropriate background for this drama. Eddy will be coming toward the end of this month to visit, so we will celebrate for real then. I eagerly await his arrival! As does the little dog somewhere in that little brain, I'm sure!

In other news, baseball has started and I can get back on the emotional roller coaster that it is being a Cubs fan. They are picked to win the division again, and they have played pretty solidly these first five games. Here's to hoping!!

Obamunism

2008-11-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I watched the numbers roll in for Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, et al, I saw what seemed to be inevitable come to fruition. The pit in my stomach felt much like when the Cubs gave up a grand slam in game one of the NLDS, and I knew that their season would be over long before I had hoped. While I did not have a great love for McCain, I have an unsettling fear of the impending Obama presidency. I have never had so much hope that I'd be wrong about something, but I hope I am dead wrong on the following:

I am fearful of Obama's naive and dangerous foreign policy statements about "small countries that don't pose a serious threat." If Iran gets nukes and supplies them to terrorists, it won't be a few buildings blown up, but all of New York. Granted, this is a worst case scenario. At the very least we'll be busy dancing gavottes with the French in the anti-American UN instead of enacting actual foreign policy.

I loathe the expansion of government that an Obama presidency promises. Liberal institutions tend to not expire even if they fail. Look at Social Security. What will happen when health care is nationalized? Judicial activism will reach epic heights with Obama appointees to the Supreme Court.

What about redistribution of wealth? When the Bush tax cuts are allowed to expire, I will personally feel it. I live comfortably, but I'm certainly not wealthy. I worry about the small business owners and sole proprietorships that could literally be taxed into oblivion. What will the Reid/Polosi congress be able to pass now? It's a scary thought!

Most distressing is the fact that many people who voted for Obama did so because he's black, or because they don't pay any taxes and have no idea of the repercussions certain to follow his tax plans, or because they are ageist, or because they simply voted for a fuzzy, feel-good, nebulous notion of "change." (To be fair, I am also vexed by the stupidity found on the other side of the political spectrum). How many generations removed are we from an idiocracy?

The silver lining: now minorities finally are left with no excuses. The white man can no longer be said to be holding anyone down. An African American will soon be leader of the free world. In addition, while racism will always exist in small numbers, America can finally move on from its historical racial iniquities.

Again, I hope I'm wrong. Instead of catastrophe, perhaps the next four years will just muck things up a little bit. While I pine for government reform, maybe one can even hope for stasis until improvements can be made. For now, I will grin and bear it. Besides, King of the Hill is on...

Absence

2008-10-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great."
~Roger de Bussy-Rabutin, 1618-1693

I read that quote from a compilation book while on the plane to see my Eddy G. I can honestly say that our love exemplifies the latter. As I've mentioned before, I think this separation will just make it all that much sweeter to be reunited.

I had a wonderful time with my baby. He had some work commitments, but I got to spend a good deal of time with him. Knowing how hard he worked the previous week to be able to take that time out of his always busy schedule made it that much more poignant. Just being able to look into his eyes again and hold him tightly made me so happy. Thursday night, after my arrival, we had a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant. Friday he had to work, so I spent the better part of the day being appalled at how expensive the housing is. I had an inkling, but it truly set in while I was there. After doing some house looking and deciding that I really couldn't look for housing until I knew what kind of job I would have, I soaked up some California sun while reading the molto pesante writings of Richard Taruskin on Russian music. That night we had a pleasant dinner at an Indian restaurant--a favorite cuisine of Edward's. Saturday I was privileged to spend the entire day with my boy. We had a great time hiking in the coastal mountain range nearby. We went to a place called Castle Rock, so named for large rock outcroppings. At one point we sat in the sun at the top of one and chatted for a bit about life. It was one of the nicest moments of the trip. That evening, we made sour cream enchiladas. Unbelievably, Ed had never enjoyed that Tex/Mex treat! Sunday we did our best to tour some of San Francisco. Little did we know that it was fleet week, and the Blue Angels were doing an air show. The traffic was appalling! We did manage to have some fun at the modern art museum and Ghirardelli square. The rebel in me thoroughly enjoyed skirting a massive $40 parking fee by purchasing a bunch of grapes at the Safeway to get our parking validated and thus pay nothing!

It was harder to leave Eddy than I had even anticipated. Time has a way of dulling the ache of missing someone. Not that my desire to see him or be with him ever diminished, but the acute awareness of not having him to cuddle and hold faded some as I got used to the idea. Spending time with him reminded me how wonderful it is to be around him, and it was incredibly difficult to wrench myself away. Luckily I have only a few short weeks until I get to repeat the experience!! Shockingly, the end of the year is only 10 weeks away! I'm sure the time will fly by. I'm freaked out by that when I think of all I have to do between now and then. When I think of being beside my baby again, I wish it would move all the faster!

And all that shit...

2008-09-18T21:53:00.000-07:00

At work, I recently called a client to inform him his watch had been repaired and was ready to go. He replied "And they replaced the battery and all that shit?" Not that the word offends me, but I would expect people to use some propriety when dealing with a classy establishment.

I recently had the opportunity to meet my family in Galena, IL for a weekend getaway. The town was a major mining and shipping center in the 19th century. It still has many of the old buildings and some old school charm. It is located in the "driftless area" where glaciers did not affect the terrain. Therefore it is much more hilly than most of the Midwest. It was supposed to rain the ENTIRE weekend, but fortunately it stopped enough for us to enjoy some activities such as horseback riding in the hills. At the museum, I waxed philosophical when I saw some old photos of people. I looked into their eyes and wondered what they dreamed, what they liked, what made them happy, what made them sad... It is somewhat comforting to know that the human condition is so universal. However, it is staggering to realize how little our lives truly are. It is so important to make our mark on our own little sphere of influence.

Speaking of rain, I am reminded of how I was driving to work the other day in a downpour. I saw some sorority bitches standing awfully close to the street (and not in a crosswalk). Now, I didn't speed up, but I can't say I slowed down either. The geyser of water thrown from the wheels of my car as I splashed through the puddles on the street DRENCHED them. I could barely hear some screams from the doused damsels as I drove on. I wish I could say I felt bad, but it actually made my morning!

The weather lately has been absolutely astounding. It's gotten unseasonably cooler, but the sun has been out in full force. I was planning on spending a lot of time outside today along with doing many errands as this was my first non-traveling day off since Labor Day. For some reason I was a little out of sorts today however. I didn't do much which made me depressed, and then I didn't do much because I was depressed. I hate how I can be my own worst enemy. I did snap out of it this evening and got some things done including a three hour workout at the gym. Exercise to the rescue!

I miss my Eddy G more every day. I finally worked out some times to go visit him. I hope that politics and baseball (Cubs' magic number is down to 2!!) can continue to help keep me distracted from the ache of not having him around. Thankfully, the little dog is a great cuddler!

A Long Trip Alone...

2008-09-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

I realize how little I've posted the last few months except for an occasional political rant. It's likely no one reads this anymore, but I need to grace cyberspace once again with my thoughts, feelings, and stories. A lot has happened lately!

First, my Ed has left me for the big CA. I've known this was coming for a long time, but it seems to have raced upon me, almost catching me by surprise. Of course, I thought he would be going out there later this month as school doesn't start until the 22nd. At any rate, the lead-up to his departure was pretty agonizing as I can't stand goodbyes of any kind. To think of being without my baby for an extended period of days isn't pleasant either. I worry about him. I miss him. Although I can't imagine our relationship coming apart, in the back of my mind are some ugly thoughts of absence making the heart grow forgetful rather than fonder. Fear of the unknown is always the most drastic. I think I'm handling it pretty well now that the event has actually occurred until I realize it has only been five days! Surely it has been longer?? On a less selfish note, I also worried about him going to a far away state by himself, driving alone. Thankfully, he made it safely, and he has a good friend there who has helped him get acclimated.

This separation has been hard, and it will continue to be difficult. However, it will be worth it in the end if I can have some money saved up to better our lives. Perhaps our relationship will emerge even stronger after the time apart. Furthermore, I feel a bit overly dramatic when I compare what we have to endure with what service men and women in the armed forces go through. In addition, this modern era makes distances shrink when long distance is free on cell phones, and emails and text messages are at my fingertips. Think of lovers past who had only letters sent through unreliable postal services to rely on during times of separation!

Some other factors have made things easier as well: I am so lucky that Garet needed a place to stay and moved in. He is nice to talk to when I want to. I think this would be a great deal more difficult if I had moved into a place on my own with no one to talk to after work. I have the cutest most bestest little dog EVER to cuddle with at night to keep me from being terribly lonely. I thank God for blessing me with music. When other people are tired of hearing about how I miss Ed, I can go to my keyboard to play and sing a tune giving me wonderful expressive relief.

I gave Ed a plush schnauzer to help him cope with missing Zipper (whom I'm convinced he loves more than me). =) He saw it on the bed and hugged it close. It was ADORABLE. I slid a promise ring on the collar of the dog as well. I wanted him to have something tangible to remind him of my love and our commitments to each other. I was SO NERVOUS about giving it to him. Jewelry isn't his thing, nor are overly sentimental symbolisms. However, he said he would be glad to wear something I gave him. Furthermore, he actually got me one too!! He actually went shopping, spent money, and made the effort to do something for me just because it meant a lot to me. It didn't come in before he left, so he had me pay for it with his card number. As he gave me the info, he apologized that he didn't give it to me in a box, on a plush dog, or some other creative way. It was so sweet and endearing! Truly a splendid example of "it's the thought that counts."

Ed also told me recently how he believed a lot of his successes the last few years could be attributed in part to our relationship. He said having my support and love made life easier. He didn't have to worry about or spend time finding that support or wonder if someone would love him. It was one of the sweetest, most romantic things anyone has ever told me. I relayed the story to Garet the other night who was moved nearly to tears by it.

I had a wonderful opportunity to road trip to Chicago with Dad and Matt (my brother) to see two Cubs games. At the time the trip was scheduled I didn't know it would be just days before Ed left, so in a way, it was a bittersweet trip. In hindsight though, it was good to give Ed some time to tie up loose ends and take my mind off of things. The whole summer has been exceedingly mild, and the weather during our trip was simply perfect. They won both games! The last few years, the Cubs have lost when we go to see them in person. Last year the game we saw was the only game of the series they lost. The first game this trip was the most dramatic. The Cubs trailed 4-1 going into the bottom of the 8th inning. The Phillies pitcher had the Cubs offense virtually stymied. Mike Fontenot lead off with a pinch-hit solo homer. Soriano then doubled and went to third on Theriot's single. Derrick Lee walked to load the bases. After a pitching substitution, Aramis Ramirez hit a 1-0 pitch into the left-center field bleachers for a GRAND SLAM sending 40k+ fans into a euphoric frenzy, including my dad, brother, and myself. It really was fun, and I'm glad I got to spend some time with the fam as it will be much harder and rarer once I join Ed in CA.

Finally, I can't avoid blogging about politics altogether during this time of year. I just have to say that Sarah Palin has rocked my face off thus far. My adoration for her is directly proportional to the dismay and disgust being expressed by the irascible far left. I still don't know much about her, but her zingers delivered with a prom-queen smile during her speech at the RNC were priceless. She has made me a little more excited about the Republican ticket as an alternative to the Anointed One, Mr. Communist himself. At any rate, it will be a fascinating election season!

Prince Charles

2008-07-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

Charles Krauthammer rocks my face off! To get an indication why, click here.

Life and Politics

2008-07-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in forever! For anyone still reading:

I sang Grieg's "Ich Liebe Dich" at a wedding this last Saturday for Lane and Kristin. I enjoyed learning the music, which is brief yet beautiful and narrowly avoids being overly sentimental. Lane and Kristin paid a very high compliment when they thanked me for helping make their wedding just like wanted it.

In less happy news, I received a phone call from Mom yesterday informing me that my brother Matt and his wife Terri, who were expecting their first child, visited the doctor to find that the baby did not have a heart beat. I am deeply saddened for them. I had two good friends from undergrad who both lost their first baby while still in the womb. I can only imagine the let down and grief after having such high expectations.

Today I had a customer tell me that he decided to purchase a diamond online. This is MADDENING because he has been in everyday for nearly a week. I was SUPPOSED to have two diamonds to show him last Saturday, but both of my top diamond suppliers dropped the ball and didn't even ship me the diamonds! How can I sell a diamond I can't even show? So for reasons completely out of my hands, I have lost an important sale, and I look incompetant in the process. I'm about ready to fly to New York and strangle some diamond dealing Jews.

I am finding it increasingly more difficult to avoid being entirely elitist, but when the world is becoming increasingly more ignorant, what can I do? The following excerpt from Mark Hemingway's National Review Online article regarding the Obama New Yorker cover is not only well-written but completely on point:

As for the baseless charge that Obama is a Muslim, let’s look at some
actual data rather than base our preconceptions on a cartoon. Back in late
March, Pew did a survey. One of the questions they asked was “Do you know if Obama is a ... Christian, Muslim or don’t know?”The headline everyone ran with from the study was of course, “Poll: 1 in 10 think Obama is Muslim.” But who, exactly, is it that thinks Obama is a Muslim? According to Pew, 14 percent of Republicans, 10 percent of Democrats and eight percent of Independents thought Obama was Muslim. However, the poll has a margin of error of plus or minus three percent, so statistically we’re pretty even. Further, the study reported that 54 percent of Republicans correctly identified Obama as a Christian, compared to 52 percent of Democrats. Twenty-nine percent of Republicans said they didn’t know Obama’s religion, compared to the 34 percent of Democrats who said the same.So this leads us to a fairly inescapable conclusion, obvious to anyone who’s toiled in the salt mines
of public-opinion polling: there’s a large cross section of the American
people who are not very well-informed. And that cross section appears to be
a much more diverse sample of people than one might think. For instance,
after this week we now know that smarty-pants New York magazine editors are
often no less ignorant, and even more prejudicial, than the trailer-dwelling
backwoodsmen in West Pennsyltucky, whose perceived mindset they eagerly
skewer in their clumsy attempts at appearing urbane and sophisticated.
America, it seems, is truly egalitarian even in its faults. Contrary to what
Barack Obama and The New Yorker would have you believe, no political party
or ideology can lay claim to a lion’s share of ignorance. And everyone
should expect to see plenty more of it between now and November.

Ha! I love it!

Environmentalism Meets Baseball

2008-06-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows the Cubs have not won the World Series since 1908. This year, the “Loveable Losers” enter June with the best record in all the Major Leagues, thanks in part to an offensive flood. The Cubs hot bats hold the best batting average in the majors at .286. The Cubs have rained hits on opposing teams, ranking second in the senior circuit with 604 of them. Indeed the Cubs’ lineup hits unfortunate pitchers in their path like a tsunami. The 341 runs they have amassed leads all teams. Their recent torrid streak of winning nine games in a row is the longest win streak by any team so far this season. The last time the Cubs held the best record in baseball at this point in the season was 1908. How can all this be explained?

For answers we must turn to Nobel Laureate, Al “Savior of the World” Gore. At a press conference yesterday, Gore pointed to global warming as factor in the Cubs’ success. “Think about it,” he droned. “The Cubs’ bats have heated up along with the planet.” Gore asserts that the raining hits resulting in a flood of runs correlates to the changing weather patterns that directly result from the warming oceans. The offense isn’t the only aspect of Cubs baseball affected by global warming according to Gore. The warmer, wetter air causes increased drag coefficients on pitches. Therefore, breaking pitches will break sharper. This was evidenced in a game at Wrigley this May, where the sweltering muggy temperatures reached 35 degrees at game time, helping rookie Sean Gallagher pick up a win.

The Cubs are not only benefiting from the perilous state in which we find our planet, but they actually contribute to the problem. “The Cubs are Earth haters,” Gore whined monotonously. “They have a C on their caps, which is the symbol for carbon on the periodic table. Clearly, they are advocating the release of more carbon into the atmosphere.” Gore is planning an awareness-raising event called Cap the Carbon Cubs. “Awareness is crucial,” he said blandly. “Raising money, affecting change, and the like are not important. It’s all about awareness.” Hope of all Hopes Gore is expected to unveil his new plan for saving the planet at this event. “Much like our old carbon credits, we will be offering ‘whiff waivers’ for purchase,” Gore stated inanely. Every time a Cubs player gets a hit, a “whiff waiver” can be purchased to act like a swing and a miss to offset the detrimental effects of that hit on the planet. “Something must be done quickly to avert the impending doom that would befall our planet if the Cubs continue as they have been,” Gore said asininely.

Only time will tell whether the Cubs can continue this torrential offense and smoldering winning percentage all the way to the World Series, or if Gore can curb their run-producing ways and restore order to the universe once more.

Hope is Here

2008-06-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

Given America's current propensity to hire or vote for minorities simply based on their minority status rather than actual qualifications, I find the following text from Kathryn Jean Lopez, NRO editor, to be particularly insighful and carry much weight:

We need presidents who know it is precisely because we are a nation of
talented people that we don’t need to pander with patronizing quotas.
We don’t need faux pioneers like Hillary Clinton. In her 2000 book, The Hillary
Trap, Laura Ingraham wrote of Hillary Clinton: “If you think Hillary Clinton
is a pioneer, if you think Hillary is a political genius, if you think Hillary
is an innovator, you have been drawn into one big Clinton con job.” Ingraham
wrote, “She wanted to be seen as the strong, assertive, mature feminist, but she
advocated policies that were guaranteed to keep women as dependent on
government, unions, and even the United Nations — as she was on Bill.”
We don’t need faux pioneers like Barack Obama. Tell me he’s a pioneer when he meets with Ward Connerly and embraces his Civil Rights Initiative movement, a successful effort to undo the damage big-government patronizing has done to civil rights. Tell me he’s a pioneer when he talks about the importance of the damage the
welfare state has done in urban America, to the family. Tell me he’s a pioneer when he talks about the effects of abortion on blacks in America.
Americans need to be confident in American greatness — with its exceptional promise and opportunities. Hope is here, it’s not contingent on an Obama win in November. We need leaders who share this confidence — leaders who don’t need Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama to make them believe.

Evolution: The Great Debate

2008-05-31T12:25:00.000-07:00

I continually grow frustated with purported mutual exclusivity in the debate between Evolution and Creationism. I have long held that an omniscient God certainly would allow for a dynamic, changing, and yes evolving system. On the other hand, why can't the system of evolution be overseen by a creator?

Today while reading an intriguing debate on the question "Does science make belief in God obsolete," I was struck with a most fascinating thought: What if God evolved? What if God is a being who has simply evolved spiritually and physically above all else? Certainly this theory follows all the tenets of natural selection. Furthermore, as there are not many theories as to the origin of the Christian God, it does not run contrary to traditional religious beliefs.

At any rate, I hold to my firm conviction that science is the business of disproving things through emprical study. As God cannot be proved or disproved, the better question as stated by Thomas McNamara (see full quote below) is "Do you believe scientific knowledge, which is based on empirical evidence, is compatible with traditional religious beliefs?" This question can only be answered on an individual basis. For me, the answer is yes based on my assertions above.

Thomas McNamara
05/30/2008
As several of the respondents have already pointed out, science cannot, by
definition, prove or disprove the existence of a purely spiritual being. A
better way to phrase the question would be: Do you believe scientific knowledge,
which is based on empirical evidence, is compatible with traditional religious
beliefs? This question goes to the heart of the matter because it is traditional
religious beliefs, not abstract knowledge, that motivate most people to behave
in ways that have a direct impact on other human beings (for better or for
worse).Traditional religions have motivated some individuals to extraordinary
altruism and others to extreme violence. Human behavior is vastly more
consequential in this world we all share than any belief system. Any thinking
person would agree with that statement. Thus, my proposed question can serve as
the basis for a meaningful dialogue across all religions and cultures.
Furthermore, this is a question that scientific knowledge can address
effectively.

Endangered Species

2008-03-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

I am a pro-American, gay, conservative, libertarian Christian. It can be quite lonely...

Guilty Until Proven Innocent... or Just Guilty.

2008-01-25T12:13:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago it was my pleasure to pick up Ed at the airport upon his long anticipated return from Puerto Rico. I arrived early, so I looped around the airport roads for nearly 45 minutes as I waited for him to get his bags. We had some difficultly locating each other, so I told him to meet me at a specific exit where I had seen a sign that allowed for 5 minute parking for passenger pick-up. I pulled to the curb at said location when a man with a flashlight motioned for me to move on. I shook my head no and held up a finger to signal "wait a second." He motioned with the light more emphatically, and I again gestured in the same manner. The next thing I know, he shines the light in my face, blows on a whistle, and is pounding on my window. As I rolls the window down, he YELLS at me to produce my drivers license. I tried to explain to him that my party was meeting me here imminently, or at least to ask him where the hell I could meet him (because I was NOT looping around one more time)! However, he wouldn't even let me get a word in edgewise as he screamed that I was getting a parking ticket!! Ed arrived shortly after this initial exchange to find an outraged Craig swearing at the rent-a-cop and calling him an "asshole" among other things. I was incensed because I am rarely presented with such unreasonableness! It was only during our heated exchange that he informed me of places where I COULD park and wait for Ed. That might have been information initially offered rather than his clearly inappropriate actions. Furthermore, how can one get a ticket in a 5-minute parking zone when one has been there for less than thirty seconds?

At any rate, speaking of Puerto Rico reminds me to post some pics:

Perspective

2008-01-25T11:35:00.000-08:00

I found the following article particularly insightful and entertaining. Perspective has always fascinated me in the way it shapes our opinions and actions.

Michael Smerconish: I'M A MAN OF FAITH, YOU'RE A CRACKPOT

Philadelphia Daily News
THE WORLD'S gone mad.
A major Hollywood star appears devoid of all common sense when it comes to matters of religion, and the same malady is on display in the life of a leading presidential contender.

First, there's Tom Cruise. According to the just-out unauthorized biography of Cruise by Andrew Morton, one of filmdom's biggest stars is now an enlightened leader of the sect whose members believe that deceased founder L. Ron Hubbard will soon re-emerge. Hubbard died in 1986, but Morton writes that Scientologists have detailed preparations for his return that include maintaining apartments around the world complete with some of his personal property.

Morton reports that the motto of the Church of Scientology is "We Come Back," and claims that Hubbard was expected to return 20 years after his death.

Which is why when Tom Cruise's wife, Katie Holmes, became pregnant, "True believers were convinced that Tom's spawn would be the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard," Morton writes.

Scientology issued a statement calling the book a "bigoted, defamatory assault." But, of course, these are the same people who believe that 75 million years ago an intergalactic warlord injected millions of alien souls into earth's atmosphere, that those aliens, called Thetans, continue attaching to human bodies today, and that these Thetans harbor the "false ideas" of organized religion and are the root of all the world's problems.

At least Tom Cruise is just a celluloid leader, and not, say, the chief executive of the free world.

That role is being sought by a man who adheres to a religion founded in 1830 by a farmboy named Joseph Smith. Smith told his followers that he had been visited by Jesus and charged - at age 14 - with restoring the purity of the church. One of his religion's primary texts, the Book of Mormon, was drawn from gold plates buried in the ground. Today, participants wear special undergarments to remind them of the tenets of their faith, and refrain from drinking anything with caffeine in it.

No wonder some Americans are reluctant to support Mitt Romney for president. A Gallup poll conducted in the days after Romney delivered his "Faith in America" speech found that 17 percent of voters said they wouldn't vote for a Mormon presidential candidate. That's the same result Gallup got when asking a similar question about Romney's father, Michigan Gov. George Romney, when he was running for president.

NO DOUBT THESE people are largely Christians (like me) and Jews.

We're clearly aided by an ability to spot a whopper when we hear one, a skill obviously lacking in Scientologists and Mormons. Maybe it's our grounding in the Old and New Testament that enables us to easily size up the preposterous nature of the customs that guys like Cruise and Romney follow.

I'm thinking we have certain street smarts emanating from our belief in the Good Book that's given us the ability to filter out obviously bogus beliefs.

After all, we know that the earth was created in seven days, and that the son of its creator was born to a virgin mother. Indeed, a star over Bethlehem led three wise men to the scene of Jesus' birth, and, 30 years later, he walked on the water of the Sea of Galilee.

If only the Mormons and Scientologists would take the time to read those stories - and with them learn about the great flood that Noah survived by building an ark and loading two of each animal onboard, or the drowning of Pharaoh's army after Moses parted the Red Sea - they'd surely come to their senses over the obviously fictitious lore surrounding L. Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith.

Heck, say what you will in this time of war with radical Islam, but not even Muslims would fall for the trappings of faith that Cruise and Romney have.

Islam, too, is founded on the sound perspective of the Koran, including the idea of 72 virgins standing ready in heaven to greet those who've achieved martyrdom.

Truly, one man's faith is another man's bunkum.

Well said! Faith is not a matter of logic, and customs and traditions certainly taint our perceptions of what is "normal." Furthermore, the candidates before us are running for President NOT Pope (or Priest)! I like Romney (among others) for his policies and his proven ability in administrative roles. I could care less about his professed religion.

Oh, The Sweetest Thing

2008-01-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

While getting ready for a New Year's Eve party, I asked Ed to choose between two shirts I was considering. He pointed at one and commented how he liked that one because I wore it at a certain recital. Because this recital occurred three years ago, and Ed isn't the type to pay much attention to such things, I incredulously asked him why he remember that. He smiled and simply stated "I had a crush on you."

Pearls Before Swine

2007-12-30T12:55:00.000-08:00

Today while putting out jewelry at the store Amy exclaimed "I can't take this elevator crap today!" She was referring to the MOZART playing on the CD player. Admittedly, I have referred to Mozart as the Brittany Spears of the Classical age, but the kid was a genius! He is considered by some to be the epoch of the entire era! I should not have been surprised at such utterances from a woman who thinks Korn is the apex of musical evolution, but I couldn't help but guffaw at her label. "It's Mozart!" I blurted out aghast. "You don't have to like it, but it is NOT elevator music." "Whatever," said the philistine.

In a completely unrelated note, Edward and I visited the theater the other night. They were OUT of SALT for the popcorn. How does this happen? It's not as if we are in the middle of a salt shortage. It's as if my store would run out of gold in which to set diamonds. Sheesh.

Credo

2007-12-20T08:05:00.000-08:00

My last few politically charged blog entries have generated a typical response from those who may disagree with me: if I think illegal immigration is a problem, then I am xenophobic. If I don't subscribe to the global warming religion, then I am an idiot or own too many shares of oil stocks.

I wrote the last blog posts in anger. Let me show my compassionate side of the argument while clarifying my positions:

I do not believe global warming is a catastrophic threat that causes everything from more hurricanes to less hurricanes, from bridges collapsing to political turmoil. I do not believe that man is responsible for the latest slight rise in temperature. Volcanoes are by far the highest source of CO2 emissions. The earth's temperature has ALWAYS fluctuated, often drastically BEFORE man ever walked it's surface.

Does this mean I think it's fine to dump pollutants in the air? Does this mean I don't want clean energy, renewable energy, and energy conservation? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I wholeheartedly support and advocate all of the above. I DO NOT think that corrupt government entities like the UN should levy global taxes. I DO NOT trust incompetent bureaucracies for the solutions, nor do I think that Al Gore, who has absolutely no competency as a scientist, is a savior.

The solution should be market driven. The Tesla, for example, goes from 0 to 60 in four seconds and looks like a sex machine! It runs on batteries. I'm down with that!! Solar panels on my roof would lower my electric bills. Um, ok!

As for immigration, I believe illegal immigrants who come here solely to work and find a better life should be treated humanely and compassionately. I do not advocate a mass illegal "roundup." However, for security reasons and for the integrity of our sovereignty, we have the right to know who is coming and going. We have the right to control that process. Admittedly, the naturalization process is seriously flawed. This is an area that should be addressed! What to do with the millions already here is a complex issue that needs sorting out as well. Primarily though, the flow of people needs to be stopped. We can't deal with the floodwaters until the source of the flood has been fixed.

I sympathize with people who want to come here for a better life for themselves and their family, but coming here illegally is not the answer. These people are paid (illegally) BELOW our minimum wage. THEY ARE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF! They have put a huge strain on hospitals and schools in states like California and Arizona. If we do, in fact, NEED this labor force, then why not bring it "above ground." Companies should be forced to pay them minimum wage. The workers should pay taxes if they are to use our schools and other programs.

How about attacking the situation in Mexico? The economy there will NEVER improve if the majority of their hard workers come here! The abject government corruption and the power of the drug lords are serious problems that we should strive to overcome alongside the Mexican people.

In summary, I believe in protecting the environment and conserving our resources. I believe in alternative and renewal energy. I do not believe in more government, more taxes, especially on a global scale. I believe this country has risen to greatness on the backs of immigrants. Most of us are the progeny of immigrants. I believe immigrants will continue to add to the legacy of our great nation. However, in a post-911 world, it is CRUCIAL for this process to be controlled. Furthermore, for the benefit of both immigrant and citizen alike, it MUST be done in a legal manner.

Night

2007-11-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

I love the crunch of autumn leaves beneath my feet as I walk with my little dog under Orion's watchful gaze, and the smell of fireplaces hangs lightly in the air while thoughts of my boyfriend linger in my mind.

St. Louis Blues

2007-10-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the great pleasure of spending a day in the STL with my bf. After a horribly cloudy and drizzly Friday, Saturday decided to cooperate, and we were able to spend a sunny fall day at the zoo and botanical garden. We then ate a scrumptious Italian dinner and made our way to the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra concert. The anticipated crowd pleaser was also my favorite--Tchaikovsky's fourth symphony. Written at a turbulent time in the composer's life, it is more forceful than one usually associates with Tchaikovsky, almost to the point of violent at times. However, it is not all somber and desolate. The playfully giddy scherzo of the third movement serves as prime example with the strings playing pizzicato the entire movement! Do give it a listen if you are unfamiliar with the work!

Ed and I stayed in a three-star hotel for only $50 (normally $189) due to Priceline. Thank you William Shatner! I drove Eddy back to Columbia in time to enjoy about two hours at home before turning around and driving BACK to STL to meet my brother and his wife for dinner. They were passing through on their way to IL from OK. Silly circumstances and a bit of poor planning on my part resulted in me spending six hours on I-70. It was all worth it though.

The most random tidbit from the day was passing a purple PT Cruiser with BRIGHT yellow hubcaps on the way home from STL and then passing the SAME car on my way back this evening! There is no accounting for poor taste or apparently why I kept running into this horrendous vehicle today!

Blogging from my new 37-inch monitor

2007-10-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Ed has a Netflix account where he can watch movies online. Not content to watch a movie on my normal monitor, he convinced me to bring my 37-inch flatscreen TV upstairs for our cinematographic experience! Now, I bring you this blog post in HUGE HD!

There have been a rash of crazy/interesting experiences at work lately. Not too long ago, a car crash on I-70 resulted in a fire that burned the victim so badly it took days to identify her from dental records. Shortly thereafter, a woman came into my store admittedly with a "grim proposal" to clean her mother's jewelry. She had been involved in a car wreck where there was a fire. I took the charred jewelry and knew that the crusted ash on it most likely was CREMATED GRANDMA! Ugh!

Our store participated in a downtown fashion show at which we gave out coupons in the gift bags every attendee received. This coupon had dollar amounts off of certain price pointed items followed by a version of the store's slogan, "come get your own little blue box!" (Normally, "every woman deserves the little blue box.") I had one lady come in and say "I'm here for my little blue box!" Thinking on my feet I responded "Great! What do you want in it?" "That's funny," she laughed. "No, I'm just here for the free box." Ummmmm, are you serious, I thought. I then had to EXPLAIN to here that it was a coupon to BUY something. She looked at some inexpensive charms ($15-$18), and then told me she needed to wait to buy something until she had a job. Wow...

You never know what you're going to get when you work with the public.

The Nobel Farce Prize

2007-10-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

Prestigious past winners of this prize including terrorist Yasser Arafat, foreign policy buffoon Jimmy Carter, and crook Kofi Annan, are now joined by the illustrious Al Gore. Al certainly deserves this prize over the Polish woman nominated, because she merely risked her own life to forge documents and go into concentration camps where she saved some 2500 Jewish children from certain death. Al, on the other hand, made a hyper-exaggerated fear-mongering movie that is not based in reality and now flies around not affecting any change, but TALKING about the Earth warming by .7 degrees in his older model private jet that has one of the WORST fuel efficiencies and carbon outputs of anything in the skies. The high today will reach 66 degrees here, but it SHOULD be only 65.3 degrees. Clearly it is the .7 degrees that is causing sectarian violence in Iraq, Kim Jong Il's nuclear ambition, and the continuance of Israeli-Palistinian conflict. Way to go Al!!

By the way, previous nominees for the Nobel Farce Prize include Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin.

The Fall

2007-10-09T01:03:00.000-07:00

What a gorgeous autumnal night! So crisp and cool... Die Sterne sind sehr schoen! And I got to see my baby! Definitely my favorite time of year.

October

2007-10-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

October has to be one of the greatest months! Pumpkins (and therefore pumpkin pie, cake, pancakes, etc), fall breezes, gearing up for Halloween, and of course, post-season baseball! It's been a wild ride in the NL this year, and my Cubbies took the division. I'm not sure of their chances in the play-offs, but I'm just excited for some extra baseball featuring my favorite team.

Only 30 days to put together the perfect costume! Ed and I have a little tradition of amazing costumes running. See the pics below if you're in need of a reminder:

Sick, Sad World!

2007-09-30T22:13:00.000-07:00

Things that make me wonder about the world we live in:

1. My dad commented tonight that he's not entirely sure when he's supposed to be this week, and when he does know where he's supposed to be, he doesn't remember why he's there. No, he's not going crazy. He travels FAR too much!

2. The GEICO cavemen are now the basis of a sitcom! While the commercials are entertaining, I think we all agree that a sitcom is TOO MUCH of a good thing!

3. In the latest idiotic attempt to socialize medicine, Democrats and some lame-brain Republicans have defined a child as being age 25 and younger. The fact that I am still considered a youthful infant almost distracts me from fact that people STILL think that socialized ANYTHING is a good plan after seeing it FAIL HORRIBLY in countries around the world as well as here at home. But I must remember that I am an idiot peon voter who cannot manage my own retirement or health care.

Word of the Day

2007-09-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

I recently signed up to receive a word of the day from dictionary.com by email. The first word was "pronunciamento," which is simply a self-aggrandizing cognate for a pronouncement. Next came "doff" and "precipice." I know these words! Either I'm too smart for word of the day, or the words they pick are just too simple. Come on dictionary.com! Bring it!

To Mex-Ameri-Canada!

2007-09-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

"Where there is a Mexican, there is Mexico. Mexico does not end at it's borders."

While statements like this might perturb the everyday American, the nitwits we employ to govern just don't seem to get it!! At least I can revel in the following sarcasm:

"An open letter to President Felipe Calderon. Coming off Labor Day, Mr. President, there is just not a better time to talk about the American worker than now. Hard working, dedicated, loyal, resourceful, inventive, honest. The American worker is the model by which employees around the world should aspire to be like, but there are those jobs that exist that even the mighty American worker just won't do. Luckily that's where you come in, Mexico. I'm so excited to hear the news that trucking companies from Mexico are now operating freely here in the United States. Honestly it seems like such a logical idea with absolutely no flaws whatsoever. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, Felipe? It's not like your country has millions of peoples willing to pile themselves up like human sardines just to cross the border illegally. No, uh-uh. If that were the situation, then I'd be a little worried. However, since Mexico has a vibrant economy, a surplus of great jobs, unmatched pride and simply no corruption whatsoever, I'm completely at ease with the idea of giant trucks from Mexico roaming around here in the U.S. if you didn't have a country with such integrity and such spirit, one might consider this program simply a bad idea. Plus, it's not like there's all kinds of drug problems south of the border or terrorists out there are looking for new ways to penetrate our border with large caches of weapons or even a nuclear weapon. That's certainly not happening and if it was, I'd certainly be concerned if that threat were out there, obviously if terrorists knew about available transportation across the U.S. border with such large storage capacity, we'd be all over them because they'd be all over that. But thankfully Americans know that no amount of money besides maybe $75 or, call me crazy, a hundred bucks is worth selling out America over to any Mexican. >From the bottom of our hearts, President Felipe, we'd like to share this monumental step towards a borderless north Mexico with a toast. To Mex-Ameri-Canada. Seriously, you provide us so so many valuable goods, many more than the commonly known imports from Mexico, hoards of illegal immigrants, hard core narcotics, and those funny hats. You give our large corporations really cheap labor, and I don't even know how to repay you for that. Felipe, I've got to run. Got to get back to the beach, but I'd like to close by addressing the naysayers to let you know that they don't speak for the majority of Americans. Well, actually they do, but you don't have anything to worry about with those guys because the people in charge, the American politicians, they don't listen to the naysayers, either. So relax, kick back, and enjoy Labor Day. Sincerely, just some slug from America. " ~GB

Rainy Days and Mondays

2007-06-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

This morning is rainy, damp, and dreary--compounding my drowsy state. Annoying co-workers have returned from vacation, and another co-worker is crabby due to a leaky roof. I am comforted by the fact I am nearly done with an arrangement for clarinet and piano for my sister, the company of my cute dog, and the prospect of seeing my bf tonight. (And now Albinoni's famous Adagio on the CD player. How emo!!)

Speaking of Eddy, the boy turned 22 last week. The bday bash was OUT OF CONTROL! We went to The Martini Bar, where we comprised the majority of the patrons. Upon arrival, the seemingly drunk owner and a CRAZY customer bedecked in an outlandish floral something or other and a straw hat were "mixing drinks." The woman made me a comso consisting of pure vodka and a drop of cranberry juice. I didn't complain! By the time the evening was over, everyone was pleasantly drunk and swapping clothes in the bathroom. Yup, that's the way we get down...

Silver Lining

2007-06-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

The only good things about showing up to work hung over at 8:30 on a Saturday morning are bonus money and old-time country songs on the drive. This morning I heard "Boy Named Sue" and "Too Old to Cut the Mustard Anymore." Seriously!

The Other

2007-06-01T17:00:00.001-07:00

I find mankind’s dualistic treatment of the “other” quite fascinating. On the one hand, that which is unfamiliar is to be distrusted, feared, scorned, abjured, or even loathed. On the other hand, we crave and highly value that which embodies a fetishized sense of difference, the exotic.

Solipsism

2007-05-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

The word of the day is solipsism:

In philosophy, the theory that only the self exists or can be proved to exist. Also an extreme preoccupation with and indulgence of one's feelings and desires. In other words, egoistic or self-absorption. Other forms include solipsismal, solipsist, and solipsistic.

Use it in a conversation today to impress all your friends.

(This is one of numerous words I had to look up while reading an exceedingly high-brow musicological text. One gets smarter just by LOOKING at this book)!

Celebrity Impersonator

2007-05-18T01:29:00.000-07:00

I don't think I look like anyone famous, but tonight I was told I look "JUST like Rufus Wainwright." Add that to the list including Ross from friends, Garth Brooks, John Travolta, and Beck. All these people look SO dissimilar, however, I purportedly look like all of them. Go fig...

The Perfect Coiffure

2007-04-25T22:11:00.001-07:00

Tonight my hair has the most suave feathering action going on. I must say it's drop dead sexy. Too bad the only people who got to be visually pleasured by my locks are my crazy friend Sam, some girls at the chick flick, and Zipper. (Yes he qualifies as people)! C'est la vie...

Poetic Night

2007-04-22T19:23:00.001-07:00

Tonight I walked along the edge of the park to hear the trees discuss my presence with the wind. A small moon swam in a twilight sky with her starry companions who chased away the sleepy sun. The gravel crunched below my feet forming a counter melody with the singing insects, and the slight smell of rain echoed the last strains of the day's thunderous symphony.

Sometimes I am the twilight: neither day nor night, coming yet going. Restful, wistful, comforted, lonely, existing, dying, breathing, flying.

Liebt und Leben

2007-04-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been nice: I've discovered some new music by God (aka Rob Thomas), baseball has started, and yesterday Ed and I celebrated two years together.

The weather sucks ass; we're expecting up to three inches of snow!! But at least there is still Chipotle, that culinary mecca! The last time I was there, they drew a happy face on my burrito wrapper. You know you've been somewhere too often when they start decorating your burrito!!

Happy Friday the 13th!!

Now

2007-04-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

Out of your whole life give but a moment!
All of your life that has gone before,
All to come after it, -- so you ignore,
So you make perfect the present, -- condense,
In a rapture of rage, for perfection's endowement,
Thought and feeling and soul and sense --
Merged in a moment which give me at last
You around me for once, you beneath me, above me --
Me -- sure that despite of time future, time past, --
This tick of your life-time's one moment you love me!
How long such suspension may linger? Ah, Sweet --
The moment eternal -- just that and no more --
When ecstasy's utmost we clutch at the core
While cheeks burn, arms open, eyes shut and lips meet!

~Robert Browning

Strawberry Awake

2007-03-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

The title is from an "off-brand" cereal that Pocket brought home. It cracks me up every time I open the pantry!

Check out the COOLEST video I stumbled across at the gym today. Seriously cheesy and a bit campy, but I LOVE it. Quite original and creative really. Enjoy!

False advertising

2007-03-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

Those of you who have pets will know that treats, chew toys, etc. come in a vast array of flavors. Does anyone know that the chocolate flavored bone actually tastes like chocolate? Can a dog actually distinguish between the peanut butter flavored treats and the liver?

Well, the manufacturers think humans will never test them out. Well, THEY ARE WRONG!! Pocket just tasted Zipper's so-called chocolate flavored bone. Well, it just tastes like plastic. I see a lawsuit coming!

No wonder the world needs Paxil

2007-03-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

This weekend Ed and I started watching the movie Monster. I soon realized that I wouldn't be able to finish it due to extremely graphic and disturbing content. I've been thinking about why everyone is depressed all the time, killing their spouses for insurance, etc. When we inundate ourselves with disturbing, twisted images and have a steady diet of dark, depressing rock music/lyrics, it's bound to take it's toll. Add a sensationalist news media that tells us if the terrorists don't get us, we'll all be floating in a globally warmed pool of filth and disease, and you have the makers of Paxil and Zoloft as the only happy people on the planet.

I certainly don't think we should ignore problems like the proverbial ostrich with it's head in the sand. I also don't think that all entertainment should be the cinematographic or musical equivalent of the Brady Bunch. However I think the darker aspects of humanity can be explored artistically and not perversely as in the Sturm und Drang of some Haydn symphonies, or the inevitable reminder of mortality in Brahms' Requiem. The chaste benediction of Verdi's Ave Maria at the end of Otello contrasted with the title character's vengeful, jealous rage is another example.

Sometimes, however, I just want to glory in music like Garth Brooks' "We Shall Be Free," watch a baseball game, enjoy the sunshine, or marvel how we can talk on the phone, email, listen to music, browse the web, and take pictures all on the same hand-held cordless device the size of a credit card.

I saw a poem written and delivered by a 15-year old kid on youtube today. The ending line was "The world is my lamp, but I am its light." Profound...

Beware the Ides of March

2007-03-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

Today was a very busy day filled with score preparation and William Byrd research. It's been nice to do something musical and artistically edifying. At this moment, I am basking in the glory that is Mahler's Symphony No. 5.

Monday night...

2007-03-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight I enjoyed a Heidelberg blue martini and the company of my pocket roommate on the patio. The setting sun and emergent stars made the perfect backdrop to the end of my Monday evening. The only thing missing was my Eddy...

I had a nice weekend at home. Getting some birthday attention is nice, even though I'm all growed up. And let's be honest, the strawberry pie alone was worth the drive! The now that I'm out of college and supposed to be a grown up, I value family so much more. I had a sad conversation with my mother this morning. I know she just wants what she feels is best for me, but we have such disparate views on many things in life. I hope we can find a way to put the differences aside and just love each other.

She did say one thing this morning that I wholeheartedly agree with: "Wasn't it nice for God to give us little doggies?"

Amen!

Frühling, ja du bist's!

2007-03-05T22:32:00.000-08:00

Today was a beautiful Spring-like day! The text of a Mörike poem came to memory:

Veilchen träumen schon,
Wollen balde kommen.

Violets are already dreaming,
and will soon arrive.

I took Zipper to the park on my lunch break where he chased robins (harbingers of Spring!), killdeer, and boys playing soccer. I thought how I did the same as a young pup...

Another highlight of the day was a sweet "I just called to say I love you" from Ed.

Tonight, the moon hangs like a griffins egg in a starry nest, and my love affair with the night sky continues

ass slap "good game!"

2007-03-02T16:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I rocked out on the bball court. I scored more than usual, but my usual strengths of defense and setting picks really shone--so much that the best player on an opposing team complimented my defense after I forcefully blocked his shot. The same guy made a point to come over and slap hands after I'd set a third jarring pick against him. Gaining the straights' approval is fun.

Last night I caved to peer pressure and went to Soco. I played Satan and convinced Michael to come with me instead of writing a paper. I wore an appropriately tight gay-club shirt and got a lot of attention from my friends; even Michael got a little tipsy and started touching my chest. Silly Pocket!! TJ apologized for everyone "molesting" me, but the ego-booster was appreciated. The festivities concluded with Pocket and I taking the dog outside, where Pocket decided it would be a good idea to roll down the hill. Zipper thought that was as hilarious as I did and started barking. I'm sure we woke up the entire neighborhood. C'est la vie. It was a fun night of diversions, but I long for some cuddling and meaningful human interaction.

Finally, I found a recording AND the sheet music for a Glinka song that has been alluding me. I also wrote in transliterations for some Rachmaninoff art songs. The Germans may have invented the Lied, and I am certainly moved by the works of Schubert, Schumann, Brahms, and especially Wolf, but the Russians seemed to take the genre and add a touch MORE angst. To a slut for the wonderfully tragic like myself, their works are irresistible.

Herr, Lehre Doch Mich

2007-03-01T13:25:00.000-08:00

I listen to Brahms' Requiem, and I know God.

I feel crazy!

2007-02-27T14:42:00.001-08:00

Today I have hardly worked at all. Occasionally, I take a break from work to email, blog, or Facebook, but today, I have taken a break from the former to work. Sadly, I don't even feel guilty.

However, I also feel a crazy sense of forward motion. I still don't know what direction to apply it, but it's coming like a tidal wave. Look out world, you've never seen a Craiger like this!

In unrelated news, I have seen the light and have been converted to PostSecret due, in part, to the following:

I heart Zipper

2007-02-26T16:12:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up an hour and a half before my alarm. DAMMIT! Zipper woke up as I turned over and moved to avoid being crushed. I looked over at my pampered pooch to find his "mustache" very tousled and his eyes very sleepy. He gave a look as if to say "Why the hell are we up this early," heaved a sigh, and plopped his head onto my chest to return to the land of nod. What a cute puppy!

Mein Herz ist kalt

2007-02-25T11:22:00.001-08:00

The weather reflects my mood today, or perhaps vice versa. A heartless wind is whipping about, and brittle bits of snow sting the cheek. I long for sun, sandals, batting cages, and baseball. This last month of winter is always the hardest for me...

Luckily, I found a silver lining this morning: giant pancakes and peppered bacon at Cucina Sorella with my pocket-size roomate who made me laugh and forget for a moment my tattered outlook.

Pocket (under his breath) to the waitress who informed us they were out of both orange and apple juice: "Go juice an apple, bitch!" I love me some Pocket...

MISSING

2007-02-18T21:22:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this bee?
A mysterious condition called Colony Collapse Disorder, or CCD, is causing agricultural honeybees nationwide to flee the colony. With CCD, most of the adult honeybees abandon a hive and disappear, abandoning the queen and a remnant of younger bees. Dead bees aren't being found near the hive--they're just gone. This behavior stands in stark contrast with the normal tendency for a bee colony to do almost anything to protect its queen. It is also problematic because tasks in the hive are stratified; bees cannot survive on their own.

Furthermore, Africanized honeybees produce 20% more honey than their European counterparts. They also have an evolutionary advantage with their shorter time from larvae to adulthood. Queens born of an African father also mature faster--a distinct advantage in the queen bee world. The first queen to emerge usually kills off the other queens.

My point in all this bug talk? Clearly white and black people should not intermarry because it would cause a super-race to form that will wipe us all out. I KEEEEEEED!! Seriously, this is what happens when you date a bug-nerd!

Speaking of the guy, I have to immortalize his kind acts of one week ago. Last Sunday before work, Zipper decided to wander a bit farther from home than usual and not return despite my vocal efforts to retrieve him. I was about to be late for work, and I was rather agitated that the dog was lost. Ed helped make and distribute lost dog signs, comforted me, and then brought me Chipotle. The signs paid off, and some good Samaritan neighbors returned the pooch. He also planned and help execute a wonderful V-day dinner this week. I think I'll keep him.

Anyway

2007-02-04T11:31:00.000-08:00

The latest single from Martina Mcbride, who has graced my blog before, is the new "theme song" for my life. It's called anyway. Enjoy!

Arches and Columns

2007-01-27T10:46:00.000-08:00

Last night, after taking Mark's Tropical Liqueuers virginity, we proceeded to the "other" gay bar in town, Arches and Columns. If one wasn't aware of the orientation of the bar patrons, I think the inflatible pink penis with smily face on the head hanging from the ceiling, or the neon sign proclaiming I "heart" Dick, are not so subtle clues.

I hate to admit it, but I really liked the music they played. It was sufficiently pop-techno-queer. On one particularly bass-heavy groove, there was a noticeable increase in ass shaking among the homos in the small establishment. I commented to Mark that one can tell a gay bar by the immediate reaction to said thumping bass. Mark put on one of his patented smiles and retorted "No, you can tell you're in a gay bar when the fifty-year-old men wear sporty clothes and dance like fourteen-year-old girls!"

Rum Runner at Trops, $5.75. Excellent grasshopper at Arches and Columns, $3.50. An evening with Marky, priceless!

Cuts both ways

2007-01-11T00:48:00.000-08:00

Recently I joined Ed and our friend Lane for an adult beverage at our favorite establishment. All three of us were carded. As the boys brought their ID's out, I reached for mine with glee. Thirty is looming ever nearer, so I relish moments like this. Mine was the last one inspected by the waiter. As he peered at my license, a smirk formed that soon erupted into a guffaw. "Old man of the group, eh?" he quipped. My elation at being carded quickly subsided, and I quickly attended the task of saving face. "That means he THOUGHT I was MUCH younger," I shot at Lane and Ed while providing a look that said wipe those grins off your face!

I suppose one is only as old as one feels... or looks... or according to Patrick, one is only as old as one dates. That means I am sixtee... I mean 21, and Ed is 25. Shut up bitches!!

Work of art

2007-01-07T15:28:00.000-08:00

I've had the wonderful opportunity to spend some Q-time with Eddy the last few days. The only damper was when someone heisted his wallet at the bowling alley. They made off with 20 bucks cash, but the good news is Mark found the wallet abandoned in the parking lot. Who would upheave someone's life, even if just for a few days, for a mere twenty bucks? Sigh...

I've also been partaking of Star Trek Voyager. Before you go calling me a Trekie, please understand that I do not go to conventions, speak Klingon, or any such nonsense. However, the boon of life that is Voyager provides more than entertainment. It is a probe of humanity, philosophy, and morality in an entertaining format. And it makes me happy, so there!

I attempted my first foray into painting the other day. With Mark's assistance, I came up with something that doesn't totally suck, and I learned a lot. I think this one will end up in the bathroom, however!

The activity prompted the following conversation that I found amusing:

Mark: Now all it needs is something big and angry streaking through the middle of it.

Craig (while contemplating the painting): I think I'm a little more minimalist than that.

Mark: This is your first painting ever. You don't have a style!!

January 2

2007-01-02T23:20:00.000-08:00

Today was probably the most beautiful January day. I sat outside during my lunch and basked in a warm sun that felt like the glow of a campfire. Tonight, although crisp and cool, has a myriad of bright stars watched over by a round, bulbous, and incandescent moon. I wonder if my baby noticed them, and I wonder what he's thinking right now.

Comedy of the night~

Derrick Fox (in reference to a Hydroxycut commercial): That stuff is dangerous.

Mark Woodward: Yah, it's really got a woman in the box who jumps out and cuts out your liver and spleen. That's why you lose weight.

Me: Thus, the cut in Hydroxycut.

Derrick: And Hydroxy is the name of the woman. Don't make her cut a bitch! She just got up outta jail!!

Ahh, I love it!

Holiday reflections

2006-12-30T17:01:00.000-08:00

As Christmas is ending and we approach the new year, I can't help but wax philosophical. This year I was especially repulsed by the glossy garrishness that is the retail version of Christmas. I'm not an extremely religious person, but the useless pit of junk that is the mall can be quite repugnant.

I fully realize my hypocrisy. Consumerism is what puts numbers in my checking account, and the season was good to me. I broke a half million in sales for the year this month. Some smaller jewelry stores do about that much in a year!

So, although I'm not a fan of rampant consumerism and big business, I can't depricate it too much. Some people detest our consumer-based society and big business and yet don't consider the scholarships, jobs, and other benefits resultant from the five million dollar checks business entrepreneurs write. Oh how I love the dichotomies!

The coming new year forces me to take stock of the preceding 365 days. I find that I haven't done nearly as much as I would have liked. Thinking positively, however, there are some things I am proud of:

*Reached half million in sales
*Wrote a radio spot that was cut and aired
*Was instrumental in developing a new and successful website
*Launched a successful marketing campaign to the gay/lesbian community
*Continued to cultivate a 1.5 year + relationship with Eddy

Goals for 2007:

*Be more healthy (eating, trim up, etc.)
*New job
*Expand my horizons both personally and professionally
*Appreciate what I have
*Give more to others, especially volunteer work
*Continue to build a relationship with Ed

Anti-social

2006-12-16T23:11:00.000-08:00

I find it ironic that on a night where I am quite content to stay home, and in fact, would prefer said course, I have FIVE social opportunities. It is quite out of my character, but tonight I just prefer to watch Voyager with my puppy. In addition, my Zipper needs me, and it is nice to be needed.

Until you're resting here with me

2006-12-03T16:42:00.000-08:00

Is there any thing better than staying in bed cuddling the one you love on a cold winter day? I think not...

In like a lamb, out like a lion

2006-12-01T11:01:00.000-08:00

I spent a few days with the fam last week for Thanksgiving. Despite being quite ill, I enjoyed a great meal, the unseasonably warm weather, target practice, taking the dogs to the park, and racing RC cars. Fun times!

Since being back, I've had some long and somewhat stressful days at work. Tis the season, I suppose.

November, which started out so warm and beautiful, ended with a bang last night. Mid-MO has got a few feet of snow dumped on it. Long stretches of I-70 are closed, Columbia has practically shut down, and I get an adult snow day! Unfortunately, that means I don't get paid, and we lose a big day during this holiday season.

Normally I would wish that I was snowed in with Ed, but he has inexplicably shut me off from his life this week. I knew he was going to be crazy busy this week, and that I wouldn't see him much. But this is beyond what I expected. It's all exacerbated by the fact that we traveled separate ways for the holiday last week. Needless to say I'm left feeling bewildered, a bit hurt, and a tad angry stemming from being hurt. I have little recourse but to just wait for him to contact me. Meanwhile, I will take comfort in the fire we have going and the company of my cute puppy and funny pocket roommate.

Social commentary

2006-11-18T12:39:00.000-08:00

Well, it's that time of year again--snowflakes, snow angles, and snowmen, the smell of roasting chestnuts, the sounds of carolers, a general feeling of love, peace, and goodwill toward men, and of course, people getting shot over the new Playstation 3. Honestly people it's a mind-numbing waste of time that furthers social ineptitude, and apparently fosters mob behavior.

And I haven't even mentioned the HORRENDOUS bastardizations of time-honored carols that they call commercials.

Now let's mention the newest O.J. fiasco. I have a hard time fathoming that even in today's scandal-ridden entertainment world filled with spectacle-lust, someone actually thinks it's acceptable (much less a good idea) to glorify the murder of two innocent people while the murderer's children slumbered upstairs in exchange for money.

I'm not quite ready to throw away the proverbial towel and become a hermit, but the aforementioned certainly bolster my sense of elitism, both moral and intellectual.

2006-11-08T23:52:00.000-08:00

On nights unseasonably warm with beaming moon and starlit dance, I converse with Orion on his recurrent hunt. The tragedy of the mundane world melts as I contemplate the fiery beauty of the expanse, and my solace is knowing that I am a pinion in a greater cosmic design.

Priceless Pics

2006-11-03T16:21:00.000-08:00

Oh, sarcasm how I love you!

A pitcher and a catcher in love...

Mark, the pocket-gay, and his uberlesbo rental truck of butchness

Pitchin', catchin', and turnin' heads

2006-10-29T22:13:00.000-08:00

After a week of dreadful weather, job stress, and a misbehaving puppy, i got some much needed fun and relaxation this weekend. It also helped that the rain stopped and the sun decided to reappear.

Saturday Ed and I partied it up with the ever-fun Callie and Archer. Ed enjoyed the food, and I enjoyed the foiled attempts at making the "cauldron" bubble with dry ice. Jesse the not so gay (?) jeweler showed up and drew the attention of one of Callie's female co-workers, but he also got an "off the charts, 110% flamer" rating from The Pocket's new "friend who is a boy."

We then departed for Shatterday night, where we totally rocked the place with our ubercute costumes. We had SO many compliments. And why not? We are the gays, and we are loved!!

2006-10-27T00:07:00.000-07:00

Being with someone you love can't change the dreary weather outside, but it can stop the rain inside.

The craziness that is life

2006-10-25T23:23:00.000-07:00

Oh the pictures I allow to be taken when I'm tipsy! These are from a few weeks ago.

And isn't it funny how life repeats itself? These are from last weekend.

Yah, Ed actually got me to show some nip in that last one!

Speaking of the BF, things are great! We celebrated 1.5 years together this month, and we're both eagerly looking forward to outdoing our Batman and Robin Halloween costumes from last year. I won't spoil the surprise, but pics will be posted soon!

Here's a "family" pic: Ed, Zipper, and myself. I had just returned from the 5-hour round trip to get the pup.

Work has kept me EXTREMELY busy. Business is up, which is great. I can always use the money! I've also been working very hard on the new website and some other marketing projects. I'm a bit stressed because of time constraints and annoying interruptions (see below), but I'm enjoying the work. Check out the new site by doin' the clickity clack thing here.

We interrupt this blog to bring you "making fun of stoopid people." I heard on the news yesterday a college student flying from California to Florida thought it would be a good plan to call in a bomb threat to delay his flight because he was running late. He's now facing up to five years in PRISON!

In other stoopid people news, a woman came into the store today (see annoying interruptions above) who asked for "Mitch." I could only assume she meant MILLS, the VP of the store. She proceeded to tell me that her son was good friends with "Mitch," and she was dropping off a resume for him so "Mitch" could hire him. Ok, so far we have a mom dropping off a resume for her son who is apparently so close to Mills that he thought his name is Mitch. Now let's add the fact that the word "orientate" actually appeared on this resume, not to mention things like misusing "there" and "their." SHEESH!

Blogging hiatus

2006-10-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. I wonder if anyone will even read this anymore after my lack of updates.

I have been very busy looking for and finding a wonderful puppy! His name is Zipper, and he's a miniature Schnauzer. He's so adorable and sweet, and yet he has some mischief and sport in him. He's been great. Ed was afraid I'd get an "ugly dog" as we don't seem to have the same tastes in canines. However, it took all of about 20 minutes for Zipper to win him over. He threatened to steal my dog!

Work has been keeping me busy as well. Sales are up, which is good, and we're heading into the Holliday season. We should have the new website up and running by the end of the week too.

Things with Ed are smashing. I just returned from a trip home to celebrate my brother's 23rd bday. So, it's been nice spending the last few nights with him. He's so great on so many levels, but I'll spare y'all the mush. We celebrate a year and a half together this Thursday! I feel so lucky and special to have such a great guy in my life!

A quick recap

2006-09-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

Last week I had the pleasure of seeing an extremely overweight woman on a golf cart thingy run into the grill display at Lowe's while calling for her husband's assistance. Even better, he was laughing at her!

I came home from said Lowe's shopping experience having purchased a drill, my first forray into power tools! After much double entendre about drills and drilling over lunch with Mark, I constructed a shelf in the laundry room and fixed the dryer vent. I do fear that I'm turning into a lesbian!

Friday night involved OG and the Trops where a semi-closeted but fully drunken gay and I sang almost the entire Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge.

Saturday I was the drunken gay at Shattered, where much fun was had by all. There were many people there I knew, and it had been a while since I had visited my favorite club here. So, it was great! The night ended with me outside, shirtless, having my sweaty shirt wrung out by two VERY cute girls whose phone numbers I acquired. Rediculous!

Sunday I got over my hang over just in time to have Lianne (the wife) come into town from the East Coast. Enjoyment of dollar burgers was followed by silliness at Mark's house. It was, of course, great to have her around a bit.

This evening was pleasantly spent with Callie, Archer, The Pocket, and Ed. Ed and I provided dinner like the good gays that we are. It was great to feel comfortable having people over. I finally have some furniture and space to entertain.

Alas, Labor Day has come to a close, and tomorrow I must return to work...

Loving life

2006-08-27T02:37:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here at work on a Sunday trying to have a good attitude. It does help that "the powers that be" have instituted a bonus for working on Sunday. It also helps to think of some things that I enjoyed over the weekend.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting my dad in St. Louis for a ballgame. The wrong team won, but I love the aura of excitement that envelops the ballpark. It was great to see my dad, and afterward, we discussed life, politics, education, and such over a cold lemonade. During this conversation, he mentioned my mom should get an assitant for her emerging photography business. Included in this assitant's duties would be "fighting off hordes of idiots with disposable cameras." How wonderfully descriptive and perfectly erudite! I enjoyed it.

While in the STL, I met Patrick for dinner and decided to swing by the Nordstrom there to purchase some cologne I've been coveting (Versace Eau Fraiche). The woman who helped us was CRAZY!! She spoke in a thick foreign accent: "I want you to picture you're walking in a park... It's autumn and the leaves are on the ground... Smell this!!!" And then she shoved the sprayed card under my nose. Pat commented that he "actually liked it" (miraculous in that he doesn't really care for cologne or ever really have an opinion on it). She asked for permission to spray him with it. After his consent had been given, she proceeded to DOUSE him with it. She sprayed once, twice, three times, and then MORE! I had to hold back my laughter! She was SO out of control! Patrick confided to me later that he debated running away after the third or fourth spray. Hilarious!

Last night was spent in a comfortably tipsy state with Ed at Mark's house discussing singing and religion with the aforementioned and Derrick Fox. This morning my magnificent boyfriend made me strawberry crepes, a scone-like bread, and juice with sangria for breakfast while I read the paper. How awesome is he?? He's my baby!

Infidelity

2006-08-23T23:10:00.000-07:00

Can you cheat on a mistress?

I went to Moe's burrito place today with the Pocket for lunch. I felt like I had betrayed my Chipotle!! Ed is my true love, so I guess Chipotle is my mistress, but it comes in a close second!

This Moe's place wasn't as good as Chipotle, nor did it have as many cute boys. I guess it's good to change things up though.

I was a rock star on the basketball court tonight. I just played REALLY well. And I got excited and even more aggressive, and played even better. Unfortunately my team lost in overtime, but it was awesome nonetheless!

Slut of the Nachos

2006-08-19T01:05:00.000-07:00

Many, many years ago...Well maybe just ONE many...Anyway, some time ago I was at a birthday party for my friend Nicole (one of the coolest girls EVER). Someone had brought homemade salsa and chips, and I could NOT stop eating them! I told Nicole such as she walked by, and she quipped "Well aren't you just the SLUT OF THE NACHOS!" I died with laughter, and I've proudly worn the title ever since!

I bring this up because some Barbie looking girls came by the store with some free chips and salsa from Hardees to promote their new Red Burito part of the restaurant. They weren't the best, but the SOTN is not so picky! I think I love the chips so much cuz they're an excellent vehicle for salt. Maybe I was a deer in a former life. Anyway,the salsa was pleasantly hot, and I finally woke up for the day due to the endorphin release caused by the capsaicin in it. So yah, give me some salt and some hot sauce, and the party in my mouth will make a happy Craiger!

Good thing/Bad thing

2006-08-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

It's time for another game of good thing/bad thing:

Chipotle: good thing
Crazy crowds around Chipotle: bad thing
Cute boys poking out of basketball shorts drawn by the yumminess of Chipotle: good thing

Playing basketball: good thing
Having all the courts but the two shortest taken over by some freshmen mixer: bad thing
Swarms of cute freshmen boys and returning ballers: good thing

Falling asleep after my bf rubbed my shoulders last night: good thing
Waking up next to him this morning: VERY good thing
Missing him cuz he's leaving me this weekend: bad thing

Guys letting their temper get the better of them and yelling at each other instead of playing on the basketball court: bad thing
Getting shot twice in Afghanistan (like a friend of a friend of a friend told me today): bad thing
Going to the batting cages and swimming in the quarry tonight: good thing

The End

Boys will be boys

2006-08-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

School starts next week, and the students are returning in full force. There's really only one thing that offsets the annoyance of all the traffic and such: all the cute boys milling about that I, uh, do NOT check out! And that could not even come close to being as cute as my Eddy G! Seriously, I really don't "check out" guys. I think that would be inappropriate, but I can't help but notice the the cute boy quotient is on the rise in the fall.

Ed will go home this weekend, and then school starts. I'm glad he'll get a chance to see his family for a bit, but I'll miss him. As his school starts, my work is getting crazier. Tomorrow will be my sixth day in a row without a day off, and it's only going to get worse. I will only have one day off in the ten days following this Sunday. On that day, though, I will get to meet my Dad in St. Louis for a Cubs/Cards game. WAY excited for that!

Update for the List of Ridiculousocity:

10. Machismo: Today at the gym a guy accused me of throwing a basketball “at him.” In truth I was frustrated that my team had just lost on a steal and a fast break, and so I winged the ball at the wall. However, I knew where the guy was, and it didn’t really even come that close to him. Besides, he hadn’t even been playing in that game. His pride was just hurt. I could have taken the higher road, but in my testosterone pumping state, I replied “Don’t be stupid! Why would I throw the ball at you?” After some posturing, the situation was resolved. Another example: charging the mound in baseball. Sheesh!

List of Ridiculousocity

2006-08-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

I've decided to keep a running list of things that I find to be utterly ridiculous. I will post it here with new additions in italics. Enjoy!

PS, this is my 101st blog entry! Wow.

List of Ridiculousocity
1. The word “ridiculousocity”
2. Lists of things embodying ridiculousocity
3. The irony in the first two listings (ok, I’m done)!
4. In-utero cannibalism (as practiced by certain shark species and apparently some snails)
5. Coca cola is the number two most recognized word on the planet (after “ok”)
6. The mating practices of many animals, e.g. the deep sea angler fish male bites the MUCH larger female, fuses their bodies, injects his innards (thus fertilizing) and then dies, becoming a permanent appendage.
7. Hitler’s philosophy and that of Theosophy (God wisdom), founded by a crazy Russian mystic named Madame Blavatsky and later included Gandhi amongst its members were both inspired by the same legend of Atlantis.
8. Tying Hitler and Gandhi together in one sentence.
9. An organist at a STL church playing “I’ve been working on the railroad” in a minor key on a dare from friends at the funeral of a guy who committed suicide by jumping in front of a train. True story!

Moving On

2006-08-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the big move. There's always more craziness involved, and it always takes longer than expected. Finally, after some tipsy packing and cleaning (no sexual inuendo intended!!)with the pockets (Mark and Michael), everything now sits at the new place. I gotta give a shout out to my bf at this point for helping so much on Sunday moving all the big stuff. It's SO NICE to not be dating a "pansy queer!"

We interrupt this blog post to bring you some CRAZY musings from a wacko off the street who decided to come in and share his "artistic feelings" about what needs to be done now that the downtown awning has come down. Sheesh!

Anyway, the new house is coming together slowly but surely. I did have a moment of nostalgia as I did the checkout at the old place. I'm excited to be moving on, but that apartment is where I kissed Ed for the first time. I've had many wonderful experiences out by lake. There have been times when I thought it was the only thing I could talk to. So just like all things in life, this new beginning ushers in the ending of the old. I made popcorn for the first time the other night in the new place, and it now seems more like home...

Random peppers

2006-08-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today on my way back to work from lunch, I passed a planter on the street corner filled with flowers and beautiful clusters ofwhat appeared to be red and yellow peppers. I picked one and smelled it to see if it was indeed a pepper and if it was hot. I couldn't get a read on it through my olefactory sensors, so at Jesse's insistence, I bit off the tip. It was HOT! Good thing I only took the tip! Just goes to show, you can't trust random peppers. BTW, why were there peppers growing in planters in the middle of downtown? The world may never know!! (I blame the lesbians)!

LIght-up pens and secondhand lions

2006-07-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted, so here are the last few weeks in sum:

I finally confessed all my doubts and fears about our relationship in a long emotional conversation with my bf. They were soon virtually obliterated by a single act of kindness from him.

I have had my love for Martina McBride re-affirmed by her CMA performance. The following is the same song, but a different performance. All I can say is that is some DAMN beautiful belting!

In addition, no one can not only avoid looking like a lesbian but actually look sexy in a pants suit like she does!

This week at work I was struck by a humanitarian guilt while making a personal loan. (We loan money with jewelry as collateral). The couple I was working with commented on how nice my pen was and asked if it lighted up. Earlier that day Monica and I had rejoiced in our free light-up pens we received while working the gay pride booth. At that moment though, I contrasted the need of these people and by extension, the needs of less fortunate people throughout the world, with the frivolity of a light-up pen designed to advertise a banal and vapid TV station (new from MTV).

Another moment of contemplation has been catalyzed tonight by my viewing of Secondhand Lions. Despite the pubescent voice of Haley Joel Osment and Disney-esque cheesiness of the movie, I was reminded why it's one of my favorite films. I want to have lived passionately and stood for something like Robert Duvall's character. The movie certainly appeals to my Romantic and idealistic sentiments. In this world of cynicism and despair, I think holding to the views expressed in the following clip is crucial.

On a more frivolous note, the Cubs swept the Cards this week. The standings may make a hardened Cubs fan cry, but we can rejoice in the spanking of the Redbirds in the season series! The poor Cards are 0 for Chicago having been swept in every series this far by both the Cubs and the Sox!

This next week will involve much packing and moving. Two of my least favorite things. I am excited to get into the new place though. I imagine the next post will occur from there. Until then... I bid you adieu...

Reality

2006-07-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

I usually don't watch tons of TV. I try to limit my viewing to news, sports, and the occasional FOX Sunday cartoon. However, I have accidentally become addicted to So You Think You Can Dance! Yes, a reality show! I even work my schedule around this show! Sheesh! Although it does have cheesy reality show quirks, the premise is quite good. The dancers are paired randomly, and they have to dance a style drawn from a hat. Therefore they have work at dancing outside their specialty and with a partner. "America" gets to decide which couples they like the best, but it's the EXPERT judges that decide who goes home every week. Mainly, it's just freakin' amazing dancing. The way these people can control their bodies is breathtaking at times. I'm very impressed with the artistry. The following performance from last week was particularly moving to me. I actually got chills watching it. I think dance can be so powerful because it marries visual art with music.

I read the following quote today and would like to testify of its validity: "Life would be just be a sharp, nasty knife and fork without someone to spoon with." Thanks Eddy for being a good spoonee and spooner!

2006-07-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

There's not much better than simultaneously basking in the glorious summer sun and the wit and style of O. Henry.

2006-07-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

There was something pleasantly autumnal about the breeze today. But there was a melancholy forboding to it's murmur as well...

If I were a lesbian...

2006-07-04T16:44:00.000-07:00

Ed and I saw The Devil Wears Prada last Friday. It was as cool as I'd hoped it would be! I talked to Traci today about how hot Anne Hathaway was. She quipped "If I were a lesbian, I'd do her!" To which I responded "Hell, if I were a lesbian I'd do her too!"

Work has been interesting in that I've been assigned to be the point person to revamp the store's website with the ad agency that I applied at a few weeks ago. So basically I'm not working FOR them but WITH them. It's made for some situations that COULD have been sticky, but have not been in the least. At any rate, I'm learning quite a bit and enjoying the project immensely!

Last night saw a great time at Callie and Archer's house. They're such the odd couple, and I love them! Archer's 63-year-old dad left in his other son's new Corvette. I asked why he was driving it around, and he replied "Hell, old people have to have fun too!!

We succeeded in eating lots of food and setting off some really fun fireworks. Good news is, the entire neighborhood is still standing!!

Today I rediscovered the wonder that is Corelli. Listen to him wail along with Simionato and Merrill here. (Be patient, and I'm sorry about the "announcer.")

My new discovery is the baritone Cappuccilli. Enjoy the little treat below! It's a bit long, and the best part is at the end, so feel free to skip ahead!

Potpourri

2006-06-25T22:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, hard to believe how long it has been since I last posted. Life has been just clickin' right along.

My project to have a booth at Columbia's Gay Pride festival went well. As you all know, I'm not the rainbow flag wavin' parade marchin' kinda gay, but we succeeded in creating a buzz at the festival and having some homos come into the store. The thing is, the gay population in general is exrememly loyal to businesses where they feel comfortable. I now have two new projects at work that are keeping me amused: revamping the store's website and starting a bridal fashion jewelry leasing program.

Eddy's 21st bday has come and gone. Now I'm finally dating a legal boy again after many years. Sheesh! We had tons of fun at Addison's followed by Trops followed by Shatterday night!

Michael will move in with me this coming week. I think he's gonna be a great roommate, but it will be weird having been by myself the last three years. We'll tolerate being cramped in the current apartment until we move into our new place in August. I'm excited for that! I've already purchased a new couch and loveseat.

Today as I was attemting to clean out the spare room here, I found some scribbles between Lianne and me as well as some funny quotes from friends that I'd written down. (See below.) It made me miss them very much. To some extent I miss that time in my life. I don't miss being Dr. Crabb's bitch. I don't miss the bittersweet conducting experiences, but I do miss the learning and gleaning knowledge and experience. I've been trying to do that more on my own, and I think I've had some moderate success. I've been studying web-based marketing, and on the artistic side, I've been reading Chekov as well as studying a little bit about Brittish composer Arnold Bax.

Lianne: The Utrecht Te Deum is too long!

Me: Damn Baroque sons of bitches!! Had nothing better to do than listen to four hours worth of sequences and melismas!

Andy: Can I ask you a personal question?

Me: Sure!

Andy: At what point does a man completely cross the line of sanity when it comes to grooming his pubic hair?

I've also been completely puppy crazy. I FREAKIN' NEED ONE!!! I went to see one at a sort of puppy mill. It was cute, but I didn't feel comfortable buying from such a place. The dogs didn't look malnourished or mistreated, but I'd rather buy from an individual that just decided to let their dog mate. I want a black miniature schnauzer that looks just like this:

Not bad for a Monday

2006-06-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today was a bit hectic but a good day overall. I FINALLY made a good sale at work, so I might be able to afford the couch and loveseat I bought yesterday.

I also dropped off some audition materials to the manager of WS Express (the ad agency here in town). He seemed a lot more receptive today than when I actually interviewed with him. One of my ads was for Chipotle. I don't know how good it is, but it worked on me. I HAD to have Chipotle for lunch today!

My team won all three games of basketball at the gym. I played really well, including hitting the winning shot for one of them.

My only regret from today is that it's such a nice night out. I wish I was going on a walk or something. Oh well...

Chillin' out

2006-06-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

So, I seem to have taken to venting my problems/feelings a little to the extreme here lately. I am a freakin' Pisces people--cut me some slack!!

I did not drink myself into oblvion as stated the other night. I decided to be a bit more reasonable and headed out to the club to be surrounded by people. I'm usually not a fan of the club here, but going once every three months or so is great because I get some celebrity status and the attention of a fresh face.

After a pretty heavy chat between Ed and myself on Friday, we took the Scrabble board and a frisbee to Stankowski field. Ed brought popsicles that were not frozen enough for his liking, so we raided the lab he works at for liquid nitrogen. They were SO frozen that both of us lost a little surface area from our tongue! Some high school boys saw the cooler and thought they might have a shot at some alcohol. Ed offered them a popsicle without any disclaimer, so I felt the need to warn them myself. Typical of high school boys, they didn't take heed and proceeded to exclaim how exceedingly frozen they were. Sheesh.

BIG NEWS: So, I've decided to move into a new apartment. It's a rather large three-bedroom in the nicer south end of town. I can have a dog there if I want!! Due to the cost, I needed to have a roommate. At Ed's suggestion, I asked Michael, everyone's favorite pocket, and he consented. I'm excited and yet nervous at the same time. I have a very dichotomous reaction to change. I welcome it and yet I am scared by it.

Also, I had an interview with WS Express, an ad agency here in town. I learned from it, and seemed to get a relatively positive response from my interviewer. I've been asked to write a television commerical and a radio spot for two businesses in town of my choice as an audition of sorts. I'm confident of my writing and creative abilities, but I'm scared of making an ass of myself by not knowing any technical terms or correct formatting, etc. Oh well, learning usually isn't safe and pain-free.

Finally, I enjoyed a nice evening with my madre last night as she passed through on her way to Kansas. We ate dinner together, shared a nice walk through campus (the evening was GORGEOUS), and I spanked her in Boggle. Good times...

Troubles

2006-06-02T01:46:00.000-07:00

Drowning your troubles in alcohol doesn't work. They still hang on you; they're just gin-soaked...

Loneliness

2006-06-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the best medicine is to drink and sing Matchbox 20 songs until the loneliness goes away or I pass out, whichever comes first...

The little things...

2006-05-26T17:07:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, I returned to work in a rather pissy mood with a bad attitude. I was tired from traveling and dealing with insecurities in my personal life. One little thing from a co-worker changed my attitude and made my day.

I always park in front of the store at the risk of getting a parking ticket. Amy had gone out to smoke, saw the meter maid, and also noticed that I did not yet have a ticket. She pulled a dime out of her pocket and put it in my meter.

Amy and I get along professionally, but we don't share any kind of love for each other. The fact that she would do something nice for me, someone she doesn't even like that much really made a difference to me.

The following little things are pieces of jewelry that will NOT be appearing in the store or on my person any time soon:

The penis/vagina pendant:

The vagina pendant:

And the penis pendant:

Seriously, WTF??

Mile high club

2006-05-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

I joined the mile high club this weekend as I flew from CoMo to D.C. No, I didn't have sex on a plane, but joined the thousands who have puked their guts out in the sky. Lovely, I know!

As might be legitimately surmised from my drunken posts that precede this anecdote, I thought I was hung over Friday morning, but as I continued to regurgitate FIVE times that day, I now blame food poisening or some other 24 hour flu. Luckily I barely survived, and got well enough to eat dinner with the fam late that night.

D.C. weather was PERFECT, and I enjoyed seeing my family including my 78 yr old grandma who is quite lucid and HILLARIOUS for her age. I'm proud of my sister for graduating from George Washington's PA school.

I also got to see two of my BEST friends from undergrad: Oliver the crazy roommate, and Nicole, the only woman I can say I've had romantic feelings for.

It's good to be back with my baby, from whom I'd had WAY too long a hiatus. However, going back to work has been somewhat difficult. Keri thinks that I sabotaged her in my mid-year review to get back at her for letting Callie go by telling about how she slaps Jesse and me on the ass. Riiiight.... Well, however the powers that be DID find out about it, the result was an 1.5 hour meeting tonight given by a human resources consultant (seriously WTF?) who assured us in a monotone voice that rivaled Ben Stein that while he had a great sense of humor, certain jokes just aren't for the work place. I took copious notes, naturally, and what follow are a few of the highlights:

Is a joke about strangling Janet considered off-color?

My head might explode any minute now!!

I REALLY want to raise my hand and ask, "But what if I WANT to be sexually harrassed?"

I'd rather eat my own vomit than continue to listen to this!

SHUT UP JANET!!

Indian outlaw

2006-05-19T01:55:00.000-07:00

I'm an indian outlaw... half cherokee and chocktaw... my baby she's a chippowah....

Drunken posts

2006-05-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

Um, yeah... Drunken posts are probably gonna really embarras me, but what the hell!

I've decided the two of the greatest things in life are whiskey and Cher. Chanda (great friend from Utah) is also pretty damn cool.

mammasboy25: i love you cher
mammasboy25: cher and whisky

c_chuon: wow
c_chuon: you really are drunk
c_chuon: oi
c_chuon: stop the madness

I love you Chanda, Cher, whiskey, Rob Thomas, my keyboard, defiant independence, and drunken typing. Yup!