Thursday, September 18, 2008

And all that shit...

At work, I recently called a client to inform him his watch had been repaired and was ready to go. He replied "And they replaced the battery and all that shit?" Not that the word offends me, but I would expect people to use some propriety when dealing with a classy establishment.

I recently had the opportunity to meet my family in Galena, IL for a weekend getaway. The town was a major mining and shipping center in the 19th century. It still has many of the old buildings and some old school charm. It is located in the "driftless area" where glaciers did not affect the terrain. Therefore it is much more hilly than most of the Midwest. It was supposed to rain the ENTIRE weekend, but fortunately it stopped enough for us to enjoy some activities such as horseback riding in the hills. At the museum, I waxed philosophical when I saw some old photos of people. I looked into their eyes and wondered what they dreamed, what they liked, what made them happy, what made them sad... It is somewhat comforting to know that the human condition is so universal. However, it is staggering to realize how little our lives truly are. It is so important to make our mark on our own little sphere of influence.

Speaking of rain, I am reminded of how I was driving to work the other day in a downpour. I saw some sorority bitches standing awfully close to the street (and not in a crosswalk). Now, I didn't speed up, but I can't say I slowed down either. The geyser of water thrown from the wheels of my car as I splashed through the puddles on the street DRENCHED them. I could barely hear some screams from the doused damsels as I drove on. I wish I could say I felt bad, but it actually made my morning!

The weather lately has been absolutely astounding. It's gotten unseasonably cooler, but the sun has been out in full force. I was planning on spending a lot of time outside today along with doing many errands as this was my first non-traveling day off since Labor Day. For some reason I was a little out of sorts today however. I didn't do much which made me depressed, and then I didn't do much because I was depressed. I hate how I can be my own worst enemy. I did snap out of it this evening and got some things done including a three hour workout at the gym. Exercise to the rescue!

I miss my Eddy G more every day. I finally worked out some times to go visit him. I hope that politics and baseball (Cubs' magic number is down to 2!!) can continue to help keep me distracted from the ache of not having him around. Thankfully, the little dog is a great cuddler!

Sunday, September 07, 2008

A Long Trip Alone...

I realize how little I've posted the last few months except for an occasional political rant. It's likely no one reads this anymore, but I need to grace cyberspace once again with my thoughts, feelings, and stories. A lot has happened lately!

First, my Ed has left me for the big CA. I've known this was coming for a long time, but it seems to have raced upon me, almost catching me by surprise. Of course, I thought he would be going out there later this month as school doesn't start until the 22nd. At any rate, the lead-up to his departure was pretty agonizing as I can't stand goodbyes of any kind. To think of being without my baby for an extended period of days isn't pleasant either. I worry about him. I miss him. Although I can't imagine our relationship coming apart, in the back of my mind are some ugly thoughts of absence making the heart grow forgetful rather than fonder. Fear of the unknown is always the most drastic. I think I'm handling it pretty well now that the event has actually occurred until I realize it has only been five days! Surely it has been longer?? On a less selfish note, I also worried about him going to a far away state by himself, driving alone. Thankfully, he made it safely, and he has a good friend there who has helped him get acclimated.

This separation has been hard, and it will continue to be difficult. However, it will be worth it in the end if I can have some money saved up to better our lives. Perhaps our relationship will emerge even stronger after the time apart. Furthermore, I feel a bit overly dramatic when I compare what we have to endure with what service men and women in the armed forces go through. In addition, this modern era makes distances shrink when long distance is free on cell phones, and emails and text messages are at my fingertips. Think of lovers past who had only letters sent through unreliable postal services to rely on during times of separation!

Some other factors have made things easier as well: I am so lucky that Garet needed a place to stay and moved in. He is nice to talk to when I want to. I think this would be a great deal more difficult if I had moved into a place on my own with no one to talk to after work. I have the cutest most bestest little dog EVER to cuddle with at night to keep me from being terribly lonely. I thank God for blessing me with music. When other people are tired of hearing about how I miss Ed, I can go to my keyboard to play and sing a tune giving me wonderful expressive relief.

I gave Ed a plush schnauzer to help him cope with missing Zipper (whom I'm convinced he loves more than me). =) He saw it on the bed and hugged it close. It was ADORABLE. I slid a promise ring on the collar of the dog as well. I wanted him to have something tangible to remind him of my love and our commitments to each other. I was SO NERVOUS about giving it to him. Jewelry isn't his thing, nor are overly sentimental symbolisms. However, he said he would be glad to wear something I gave him. Furthermore, he actually got me one too!! He actually went shopping, spent money, and made the effort to do something for me just because it meant a lot to me. It didn't come in before he left, so he had me pay for it with his card number. As he gave me the info, he apologized that he didn't give it to me in a box, on a plush dog, or some other creative way. It was so sweet and endearing! Truly a splendid example of "it's the thought that counts."

Ed also told me recently how he believed a lot of his successes the last few years could be attributed in part to our relationship. He said having my support and love made life easier. He didn't have to worry about or spend time finding that support or wonder if someone would love him. It was one of the sweetest, most romantic things anyone has ever told me. I relayed the story to Garet the other night who was moved nearly to tears by it.

I had a wonderful opportunity to road trip to Chicago with Dad and Matt (my brother) to see two Cubs games. At the time the trip was scheduled I didn't know it would be just days before Ed left, so in a way, it was a bittersweet trip. In hindsight though, it was good to give Ed some time to tie up loose ends and take my mind off of things. The whole summer has been exceedingly mild, and the weather during our trip was simply perfect. They won both games! The last few years, the Cubs have lost when we go to see them in person. Last year the game we saw was the only game of the series they lost. The first game this trip was the most dramatic. The Cubs trailed 4-1 going into the bottom of the 8th inning. The Phillies pitcher had the Cubs offense virtually stymied. Mike Fontenot lead off with a pinch-hit solo homer. Soriano then doubled and went to third on Theriot's single. Derrick Lee walked to load the bases. After a pitching substitution, Aramis Ramirez hit a 1-0 pitch into the left-center field bleachers for a GRAND SLAM sending 40k+ fans into a euphoric frenzy, including my dad, brother, and myself. It really was fun, and I'm glad I got to spend some time with the fam as it will be much harder and rarer once I join Ed in CA.

Finally, I can't avoid blogging about politics altogether during this time of year. I just have to say that Sarah Palin has rocked my face off thus far. My adoration for her is directly proportional to the dismay and disgust being expressed by the irascible far left. I still don't know much about her, but her zingers delivered with a prom-queen smile during her speech at the RNC were priceless. She has made me a little more excited about the Republican ticket as an alternative to the Anointed One, Mr. Communist himself. At any rate, it will be a fascinating election season!