An die Musik

Yesterday I ate lunch outside on the sidewalk to enjoy yet another beautiful spring day. While I ate, I read from my book on 19th century German lied. Yes, I'm a music geek. While I read an account of Brahms singing his own Vier ernste Gesange shortly after Clara Schumann's death, I became overwhelmed. Apparently, the gruff exterior he wore as a front to hide his tender heart came down and his hoarse voice choked with emotion. It's no wonder sometimes I feel as though Brahms wrote for me. Sometimes I feel like I know him, or at least know how he may have felt at the time he wrote a song. This is the true power of music: to convey feeling, emotion, the human condition. Sometimes this occurs on a grand scale, and sometimes it's a subtle comunication between men living centuries apart.

At any rate, I had trouble controlling the tears running down my face as I ate my sub and continued to read.

Rule of thumb

I think a good rule of thumb when in a serious relationship is it's ok to notice hottie, just not look back and dwell on him. I mean, we're only human, and it's natural to notice another good looking human.

Today I broke that rule though. I was driving to the gym, when a ways down the road I noticed what had the potential to be a very cute boy. As I got closer, I noticed he was very cute indeed. And then it happened, I looked again. And AGAIN! I couldn't help it. Something was really drawing me to this guy. And that's when I noticed the shorts that Ed had put on this morning. Yeah, I was TOTALLY checking out my boyfriend! I'm slightly embarassed that I broke my rule, but I feel vindicated in that it WAS my boy. Also, it feels good to know that over a year later, the boy still does it for me!

Biting comments

My boyfriend likes to bite. Therefore, I've taken to calling him Mako.

To quote Richard Ellis's book of sharks: "[The mako] is probably the most graceful of all sharks, the most beautifully proportioned, the fastest, the most strikingly coloured, the most spectacular game fish, and one of the meanest looking animals on earth."
Um, all except that last bit is certainly appropriate!

Love will never do

"They said it wouldn’t last
We had to prove them wrong
Cause I’ve learned in the past
That love will never do without you..."

Last night, after a stressful day of work, I noticed the bright orange sun bleeding red and gold on the western horizon, while a giant full moon crept above the eastern rim, gently illuminating the oncoming night. I thought about how lucky I am to be alive and experience moments like that. I also thought how grateful I am to have Ed in my life for whole year now.

Positive attitude

Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in all the negativity in the world. There's always some fat to lose, some money to wish for, some rain to get you down, etc. Today has been an absolutely stellar day though! After a week of trying to get many things done and succeeding at only a few, it's been nice to have a relaxing yet productive day.

Last night I had some great fun with Laura and Anson, one of the cutest couples I know. They introduced Eddy and me to yet another cute couple, Becca and Brad. Becca thought I was 21, is a Cubs fan, and drinks Coke Zero. We're soulmates!

Today I had rehearsal for a chamber piece I'm singing on David McDonald's composition recital. It was really fun to be working with musicians again. I then went to the U. Singers concert. I have to say I enjoyed it, but I didn't miss singing in the group like I thought I might. I made a point to say hi to Dr. Crabb who was politely friendly. I keep thinking he might actually ask about me (how/what I'm doing etc.) but he never does.

I had the LOVLIEST nap/poetry reading session on the 'dock' by the lake this afternoon. Today was one of the most perfect days one could hope for: right around 70 degrees, just a few wisps of clouds decorating the blue sky, and the sights and sounds of spring everywhere.

The night cap consisted of attending Patrick's recital, which was not as well-attended as usual for some reason.

One of the best things about this past week: the Cubs SWEPT the evil Cardinals!! Ah yes, baseball has started and life is grand once more.

Ok, this post has been kinda haphazard and circuitous, but HERE'S THE MAIN POINT: While browsing through The Most Brilliant Thought of All Time In Two LInes of Less, I re-read one of my favorite quotes. It's going to be my new mantra. I'll leave you with it here:

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

Herm Albright, 1876-1944

Just what I needed

Today was a little tough: the combination of time changes, the post-vacation blues, finding out I'm working several Sundays this month now that we're open, thinking that Ed would get swept back up into his school work, etc. etc.

However, I got to attend a wonderful recital by Dr. Blake with Eddy. It was well-programmed to be informative and entertaining. She also rocked out vocally! I got a Rachel hug, and Ed made it very clear that he was glad to be with me. His excitement to see me so soon after our long time together was just what I needed. (Cuz when you're standing oh so near, I kinda loose my mind... I love you Cars)!

Embrace the detours

Today marks the end of a wonderful trip with my Eddy, but I'll start at the begining:

Wednessday we flew into a very rainy Salt Lake City. The forecast had not been good, and I was bitter that lovely Utah looked to be very crappy for our stay. We picked up our rental, a very butch and outdoorsy Jeep Grand Cherokee, and headed to Baci for dinner with some of my SLC buds. Baci was my favorite restaurant downtown. I used to walk there after the opera for some late night snacking.

In a twist of fate, the place was to go out of business a mere two days later. As such, they were out of everything I tried to order! It was great to see some of the old Utah crowd, and Ed got to finally put faces with names he'd been hearing. We walked around Temple Square in the rain/hail afterwards--not as romantic as I'd imagined, but nice nonetheless. Chanda, the cheap Asian whore, I mean one of my best friends, was nice enough to put us up for the night. It was great to hear stories exchanged by an old friend and the current bf.

The next day, we treked down to Moab, a major outdoor tourist spot in Southern Utah. We hiked around Arches National Park for the better part of the day.




We stayed the night in a quaint bed and breakfast owned by an older Belgian couple with the CUTEST accents. We spent an enchanting evening in the outdoor hot tub with the spectacular mountain sky ablaze with stars you can't see at lower elevations. It was quite romantic. After bed, the breakfast included Belgian waffles (of course!) served by the women we nick-named Zja Zja due to her accent and inflection.

After the previous day of hiking, neither one of us wanted to do anything too physical, but we still needed some adventure. So we rented ATV's!!!!! It was one of the most fun things I've done in a LONG time! Riding those things isn't as easy as it looks, and the rocky, mountainous terrain proved challenging at times. There were many moments of panic when going up a steep slope or slip-sliding down a treacherous bank. On one flat part, we raced them to over 40 MPH! We rode for almost five hours through creek beds, sand washes, buttes, and mountains. Southern Utah is spectacular country; there's something very primitive and grandiose about it.




We drove back to SLC that night, but missed one of our turns in the dark. As a result, I got a FREAKIN' speeding ticket on a stretch of highway we never shoulda been on. Fate is cruel sometimes. I used to get tickets in Utah all the time, but I've never even been pulled over here in Missouri. Ironically, I go back to Utah for the first time in nearly two years and get nailed. Sheesh!

We finally got back to our Hilton (i love you Priceline.com!) and then met the boys at the gay club. Ed had never been to a gay club, although Shattered comes close at times. "I feel like I've finally arrived," said the boy. I was a little nervous to take him to a club filled with beautiful shirtless guys, and the club used to be a source for feelings of inferiority and disappointment for me. However, it was nice to dance and share the new experience with Eddy.

After much needed sleeping in the next day, we hit the exercise room and drove down to Provo. It wasn't the most exciting for Ed, but for me it was quite nostalgic. I can't believe it's been ten years since I first transferred out to BYU. I had a lot of wonderful experiences and opportunities there, as well as some bitterness and heartbreak. This trip made me remember the highlights of my time there, though.

Back in SLC, I introduced Ed to the culinary wonder that is Rodizio Grill, a supposed Brazilian restaurant that is a meat lovers heaven. Guys keep bringing out different kinds and cuts of meat as long as you want them to, combined with an exotic salad bar. I'm still recovering from the protein induced shock! The rest of the night was spent walking/sleeping off our dinner.

Today we somehow managed to get TWO hours ahead instead of the required one hour "Spring ahead." That combined with our rental drop-off and airport check-in taking hardly any time at all caused us to be over two hours early to our flight. Thus we found an unoccupied laptop cubicle and napped underneath it for the better part of an hour and a half!

It was a great vacation from the humdrum world of retail, and I got to see many old friends for the first time in two years. I spent it all with my very sexy, very fun Eddy G. He made me laugh so many times, and he was such a joy to travel with. Although we both need some alone time after being together 24/7 for five days, I very much enjoyed having him there night and day as a friend, companion, and boyfriend. One of my favorite parts of the trip was watching family guy together after we arrived home, prolonging our separation. This detour to a place in my history has reminded me of the past, but it has also served as a reminder to aggressively seek to improve my future. For now, the immediate future needs to see me in bed. I hate you time change on top of a time zone change!